certainthings: (Gen and Jared : JiB Con [01])

But seriously, guys. How is he helping her? He's not even looking at her with an expression that says, 'I am mentally helping you. I am hoping that you don't trip and fall at the last second as you get in the vehicle.'

They couldn't come up with a better caption?
certainthings: (Jared's got a bit of a snarl face)

+ Are girls actually wearing "shirts" like that?
+ Obviously, you can't have BOOBS and wear shit like that.
+ How is that allowed?
+ Or was costume in a panicked rush to find something for that character to wear and just threw a large necklace at her?
+ The lack of clothing on her makes me weep. And also slightly frightened.
+ screencap from Secret Circle

#wtfisthatshit #thatisnotashirt #secretcircle
certainthings: (Burke and Caffrey: Duuude)

but those feet, toes and especially the freaking toe-nails are scaring the crap outta me. Eeesh.
certainthings: (short bus)
Well, I finished reading a book. Sure, it was short and was of short stories but still. A book is a book. But uhm, I think maybe I now know why I stopped reading them - I was thinking it was because they weren't about Sam and Dean having hot gay incestuous sex - but no, I think it's because I don't understand them.

Here's another part from a different short story:

Ann came out of the bathroom wearing a colossal black robe which dragged behind as she sauntered. With her hair wet the bones of her face appeared large and beautiful.

"Drop the robe," said Mark.

"I'm tired of you, my liege," she said as she shook her head and smiled, revealing her small sharp teeth.

"Drop the robe," said Orelio.

"I'm tired of you, my lord."

"There was an orangutan," said Orelio. "It walked down a sunshine street. It stood up and said, I'm a silly monkey."

Mark cried. Orelio left the room and Ann sat on his lap. She offered him her breasts. Orelio came in and they hugged. "We need some food. What we need is some food."

What. The. Fuckity Fuck?

01. How and why would that make Mark cry? [bonus question: Is this Mark fellow the biggest sissy in fictional history?]
02. How is Ann able to sit on Orelio's lap and offer him her breasts if he's left the room?
03. Do they really need some food or do they need to stop taking really bad drugs?
certainthings: (Harris has nice)
I believe you need this in your life - The Emergency Bra

"The Emergency Bra's primary function is that of a conventional bra. In case of emergency, it can be quickly and easily converted into two face masks without removing any clothes. In case of emergency, where no specialized respiratory devices are available, it can decrease the inhalation of harmful airborne particles. Because the Emergency Bra masks can be securely fixed to the head, it frees a survivor’s hands to keep balance while running and removing objects on the way out of danger. In certain situations, by providing the wearer with a sense of security and protection, the Emergency Bra can reduce the chance of panic attack."

oh, it is?

Nov. 12th, 2010 08:48 pm
certainthings: (Bo thinks this)
I bought a comb tonight. Goody brand. I just looked at the back and written on the packaging ...

"It's a pleasure being a woman. You have so many different sides of yourself to express and enjoy. That's why Goody offers an inspiring range of hair accesories and styling tools to help you create any look with ease"

IT'S A FUCKING COMB. Not a bloody miracle worker.
certainthings: (Helen Mirren really doesn't like that)
They're cancelling Life Unexpected.

Fuck you, CW!

How the hell can their ratings be worse than any other show on that damn network?

I need that show in my life!

certainthings: (Jared and Jensen : I want to kiss you)

* \o/ New pictures of them together.
* We need hi-res of these
* But why are they standing so far apart? Seriously, what is this fuckery and bullshittery?
* It's kind of hurting MY SOUL.
certainthings: (Jensen's not that impressed)
First true story :
Ackles recounts, "Just the other night, when I was getting into bed, I picked up the sheet and slid my legs underneath and as I was about to put the sheet back down on my chest, a spider suddenly dropped down from inside the sheet, right next to me on the mattress and I was just like, 'What?' I got it with my hand, put it on the floor, and then stepped on it.

(some of you might remember me posting about it here and then asking many questions about it)

Second true story:
A few minutes ago I was picking up my basket of laundry to bring to the laundry room when I noticed a spider on a towel so I put the basket back down and was just like, 'Huh, maybe you're the spider I saw the other day.' I got it with my hand AND THEN IT PRETTY MUCH JUST FUCKING DIED THEN AND THERE. *ahem* And then I went to the bathroom and washed the spider down the drain and then washed my hands.


Why does this spider story of his hurt my brain so so much? It's been a long while since it happened or I learned about it and yet there are times like now that I'm reminded of it and ow. How big was this spider in his bed? How secretly dainty are his hands? Because, I just meant to grab the spider and then flush it down the drain but no, it died before I could kill it via drowning. Or maybe he didn't "get it" with his hand but instead just held his hand still and was all, 'Here spider spider spider. Who's a pretty spider? C'mere. That's a good spider.' until the spider crawled onto his hand and that's when he was all, 'Haha, let's see how fast you can run, fucker.' and then put it on the ground before he stepped on it.
certainthings: (Jared's a little bit mad)
He looked ... he was young. Teenager or very early twenties. And yet he had grey hair or maybe dyed grey hair. Perhaps it was silver.

His hair was short and he wore a pink sweatband.

He had on a black shirt and in hot pink letters written on the front was EAST INFECTION. And on the back CULLEN*.

I wish I knew what it all meant.

*I'm pretty sure it was Cullen. He had a backpack or something that was blocking it a bit.

Lost: LA X

Feb. 2nd, 2010 08:37 pm
certainthings: (Default)
Spoilers for Lost with mentions of Supernatural

What? Wait, what? No, seriously. What?

For a moment there I thought that my baby's daddy (aka Locke) had always somehow been a Smoke Monster American but then I realized what had happened and yeah. I mean, I still don't get it but yeah.

No, seriously, if someone wants to explain the whole ep to me and explain it like I'm a five year old and maybe use hand puppets that'd be great.

I enjoy this show so so much but I don't understand it at all. Like, any of it. Whenever I try and actually PAY ATTENTION, I just get a headache and sometimes start drooling. (okay, maybe not that last part)

So uh, I always thought that Jacob was evil, that he was Lucifer or well the Lost version/brand of Lucifer or at the very least Lucifer like. But [livejournal.com profile] memphis86 mentioned that she thought he was a good guy.

Is Jacob good or evil in your world? Or neither?

Also? Mark Pellegrino's acting on Supernatural is quite decent but his first 10-30secs on Lost? Hahaha. SO MUCH BETTER. Hmm. Interesting.

John Locke's been my baby's daddy for a long while now but now that he's the host of a Smoke Monster American and is all evil? Nnnnngh. He's even hotter now. God. Damn.

eta: I forgot that I kind of enjoyed this one part

Juliet: I have to tell you something. Before I go, let me tell you this one thing. I really really need to tell you this ONE THING. It's kind of important, please to be paying attention'
Sawyer: I'm listening, please to be telling me this verrah important thing. What is it darling, Juliet, please tell me?
Juliet: [up and dies]
Me: [snorts and giggles]

Uhm, you know cos she could've just spit it out instead of letting him be all, 'Oh, darling.'

On the yahoo.com homepage thingy there's a blurb that says, "Odd reaction to 'Lost' episode" my first thought upon reading that was, 'What? Did they actually understand the ep?'
certainthings: (Default)
Little while ago someone over yonder uploaded The Perfect Penis. I'm watching it now. Maybe some of you have seen it. Maybe you haven't.

Yeah. Under the cut is a picture of a man's dick and balls. This picture isn't work safe. I'm pretty sure it's not life safe either.

This man has had silcone implants. This man sometimes refers to it as "the blob". This man can no longer have sex and he's okay with this. He can't stand and pee. Nor can he sit and pee. He has to sort of squat over the toilet bowl.

These have been your warnings. Now, come. Join me in the why would anyone do this to themselves. And the wtfery of it all.

oh sweet moses )
certainthings: (dog and pony show)
Ok guys… I went back to Danneel’s people & asked about a myspace or facebook b/c I have been seeing alot pop up in FB. It has once again been confirmed that she doesnt have any Twitter nor Facebook accounts. So if you see one its NOT her. Please dont be their friend, b/c all we are doing on helping them to stay open & what we want is to shut them down!!! So please remove them from your friends & pass the word around! I will try to do that through my Facebook Group. Thanks!!

I have no idea who "I" is or if they really did talk to Danneel's "people" but if that up there is true ... I don't get why they would lie about it why not just say, 'She has one but it's for friends and family.' or something. Unless of course they don't know that she does have one. Or maybe the Danneel that people think is real is actually .... JENNIFER JASON LEIGH!  *cue dramatic/scary music*

* * *

He's a little bit delicate. Not as big as his friend the cherry, or as firm as his little buddy blueberry. The raspberry is a special kind of berrry. The kind that says "hey, gentle now ... don't get too grabby...I bruise." When treated right, who can compete with that luscious, juicy burst of flavour.

That little snippet there was in a grocery store flyer. And sure they're just casually mentioning raspberries that can apparently TALK but that doesn't matter, because in my head? I hear Jensen.

* * *

Get champion dong ritornello morbose

And that is a subject line of a spam email. What the hell? I don't know what it is but it sounds kind of painful.
certainthings: (Brad Pitt doesn't know who the fuck)
I was wandering around Wal Mart and there was a boyfriend and girlfriend (maybe husband and wife) they were standing in front of where the tampons are. Just standing there for a moment or two. Then he picked up a box and smelled the box before handing it over to her to smell. They walked away with no tampons.

WHY WOULD YOU NEED TO SMELL A BOX OF TAMPONS? I was very tempted to go over after they left the area to smell the box just to see if there was a scent but I didn't want to look like a crazy person.
certainthings: (dog and pony show)

I was looking at those photos again and noticed that on some of them that white powder shit is on his ear. The hell? I just ... What? How?

Did he not look at a mirror before he left the hotel/apartment/house/friend's house?

Did he do his own make up thinking, 'Yeah, I've done enough tv and movies to know how this shit goes on.' And the proceeded to poke himself in the eye with a brush covered in powder and wiped it a bit so it wouldn't get directly in his eye and that's how some of it got on his ear and then he was all, 'Fuck this. I look fiiiine.'

Where were Genevieve and Danneel and why didn't they say, 'Uh. You got a little something there.' RIGHT AWAY? Were they pointing and laughing at him while his picture was being taken? (I hope so) Or did they do his make up and for shits and giggles wanted to make him look like an ass?

Did he get his make up done by a make up artist who was drunk? Or maybe one he turned down at some event and this was her way of getting back at him?

I really would like to know what the hell happened and who let him go out like that.


Jun. 3rd, 2009 10:24 am
certainthings: (Jensen wants to play peek-a-boo)
So if this

jensen ackles

was Jensen laughing and having a gay* ol' time. Then this ...

jensen ackles

must be what he looks like when he's not laughing and not having a gay ol' time.

* I mean gay in the happy sorta way not the homosexual way

* * *

Not so long ago in an interview when asked about his girlfriend Jensen said something along the lines of, "It feels like two years." or some other combination of words that made it sound like a prison term. (I really didn't care for his choice of words).

More recently Jensen mentioned that he got a call from his girlfriend a couple of years ago saying that she'd bought a puppy and he knew that he was going to have to take care of it.

So, uh ... are they staying together for the sake of the doggie dog? :p

yeah ...

May. 30th, 2009 01:28 pm
certainthings: (Danneel Jensen Jared)
Yesterday and today [livejournal.com profile] karmicunderpath's been keeping me updated on Jared and Jensen's status and I've been keeping her updated on the status of my underwear.

By the by, what the fuck was Jensen thinking getting that eye surgery? *glares in his general direction*

Has there been any word or sign of Genevieve at the Con? I've heard that Danneel's there but she's locked in a closet or something. (It's possible I made that last part up)

All right if it's true that Danneel and Genevieve are at the Manns concert together, there'd better be some damn pictures. *solemn nod*
certainthings: (Chad and his puppy)
twitter is addictive. holy christ, eh? follow me. I'm so exciting. (not really).

also my tv is playing Christmas movies. WTF?
certainthings: (Jared's drunk and doing cameos)
I think I'd won some sort of contest but I'm not sure. And I can't remember the beginning ...

But Misha and I were in a hotel room - him on one bed and me on the other, there wasn't a lot of talking going and we were sitting up and eating. Misha had some false teeth and he'd taken them out so that there was a big gap in the front (why would you take the your teeth out when you're eating?) and after awhile it was clear that Misha was upset about something. He wasn't crying but he was very very upset about something and said, 'Might as well take them all.' and then took out all of his teeth and he's still not crying but you can tell that he wants to or he wants to scream or something and I'm just sitting there staring at him wondering what the fuck is wrong with him and then it ended.

uhm, what?

Mar. 24th, 2009 08:36 am
certainthings: (Matthew is a Capitol Hill thug)
this was part of an email that my aunt sent me -


What? Why? And can he chop his food right before it enters his mouth? But seriously WHY?


certainthings: (Default)

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