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[certainthings]

Well, I finished reading a book. Sure, it was short and was of short stories but still. A book is a book. But uhm, I think maybe I now know why I stopped reading them - I was thinking it was because they weren't about Sam and Dean having hot gay incestuous sex - but no, I think it's because I don't understand them.

Here's another part from a different short story:

Ann came out of the bathroom wearing a colossal black robe which dragged behind as she sauntered. With her hair wet the bones of her face appeared large and beautiful.

"Drop the robe," said Mark.

"I'm tired of you, my liege," she said as she shook her head and smiled, revealing her small sharp teeth.

"Drop the robe," said Orelio.

"I'm tired of you, my lord."

"There was an orangutan," said Orelio. "It walked down a sunshine street. It stood up and said, I'm a silly monkey."

Mark cried. Orelio left the room and Ann sat on his lap. She offered him her breasts. Orelio came in and they hugged. "We need some food. What we need is some food."

What. The. Fuckity Fuck?

01. How and why would that make Mark cry? [bonus question: Is this Mark fellow the biggest sissy in fictional history?]
02. How is Ann able to sit on Orelio's lap and offer him her breasts if he's left the room?
03. Do they really need some food or do they need to stop taking really bad drugs?