letter. chocolate.

[certainthings]

Dear Writers of Fiction,

Please stop using "cum" in your fics.

It looks bad and sounds even worse.

Sincerely,
Me

* *

Caramilk Deluxe just might be the best thing ever.

Comments

[iamnotkris.livejournal.com]

Oh, ew.

It sounds like really really bad cyber-sex.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

That it does.

[breathe-me27.livejournal.com]

A-fuckin-GREED.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

There should be a memo sent out.

[fromyourashes.livejournal.com]

You know, I NEVER used to use "cum". And then someone who writes wonderful stuff got me to start using it - and I actually went through some of my fics to change it back from "cum" to come.

However - when I write ABSOLUTE FILTHY stuff? I use "cum". It is very gross. And sometimes necessary - if you're writing a loveless sex scene that's full of nasty debauchery.

But for the most part, yeah.

Cum is gross - in more ways than one.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

*gives that some consideration*

[fromyourashes.livejournal.com]

rotf, you big liar. LMFAO!!! You don't like "cum". Neither do I, to be honest. Sometimes you're sitting there reading some lovely little bit of fluff, and suddenly, "He shot a load of hot cum across her belly." And boom, you're in Bow Chicka Wow Wow Land.

Lmao. "Consideration" my bootie. *grins*

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

I am. I was. I did. I am doing.

I just. If it's written well enough "come" will read just as good as "cum" would've and you don't feel ... like you've entered dirty cheap whorey porn land. Unless the fic is that, then sure. I guess it works

[jamesinboots.livejournal.com]

*shudders*

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

No, really it's a good chocolate bar. :P

[jamesinboots.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm sure it is. ;)

[fiddleyoumust.livejournal.com]

I'm revealing far too much about some of my reading habits here...

But... you know, never mind, I just tried to write this like a million times and every way made me sound like a perv. Let me just go on record and say I agree to infinity and beyond. It's not a good word.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Now, I curious as to what sort of things you were going to write. Email me privately?

[fiddleyoumust.livejournal.com]

Okay. :P

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

*grabby hands*

[mosgirl9.livejournal.com]

Cool. We'll just sanitize everything. Cause sex isn't dirty or messy or anything.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Yeah...

[frala.livejournal.com]

I kind of tend to use come as in the act of it, and cum as in the actual liquid, I dunno!

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

"And what will you be drinking tonight, sir?"
"I'll have a glass of your finest cum, please."
"Certainly."

:P I kid!

[frala.livejournal.com]

hahahaha

[resounding-echo.livejournal.com]

As in you don't like the word period or that spelling of it? Because I have no issue with come and long as it isn't cum. :)

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

The spelling.

[fullycompletely.livejournal.com]

Oooh, what's Caramlik Deluxe?

They don't have Caramilk here, unless I want to schlep all the way to the Canada shop and pay a pound a bar. :( There's something called a Galaxy bar with caramel that isn't bad though.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

I thought they had Caramilk there. Huh.

It's a rolo type chocolate bar (five pieces - not enough) and it's got the caramel in it, obviously but the top layer is this chocolatey fudge stuff. And it all goes together very well.

[fullycompletely.livejournal.com]

No, and I don't understand it, because they have Dairy Milk bars with caramel in them, but they don't taste the same. :( Dairy Milk appears to be like, THE chocolate bar around here, they have about 12 kinds. The chocolate tastes different from ours, but I'm getting used to it.

DUDE, now I remember what I wanted to tell you! They have Dairy Milk bars with the creme eggs stuff in them! Eating them in October feels evil.

Do they still have the caramel KitKat? Oh, man, those were CRACK.

. . . I don't sound like a chocolate addict at all, do I?

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

All year round they have creme eggs? Or sorta anyway? Those lucky bastards!

They say that the chocolate there is better than ours (just as ours is a lot better than the US) but I prefer our chocolate. I've had some english chocolate from the imported shops here.

I haven't seen the caramel kit-kits but then I haven't really been looking for them.

[jheaton.livejournal.com]

But I write all my fan fiction in Latin! How can I be expected to not use the word "with" in any of my stories?

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Haha. No, it NEEDS to stop!

[ames1010.livejournal.com]

I hope you don't mind that I added you! Feel free to add me back, too! :)

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

I don't mind at all.

[keeplistening.livejournal.com]

Biggest. Fic pet peeve. EVER. It actually makes me close the fic, if I see it, I hate it so much.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

For me it depends, if the rest of it's good or could be good I'll skim real fast past that part.

[lalita82.livejournal.com]

yeah! I think it's does when I read certain fics.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

really bad sometimes. just. ew.

[douxquemiel.livejournal.com]

It immediately and totally illegitimizes the entire fiction. Sometimes, I'm okay with that, if I'm out for PRON and don't really give a damn, but GOOD GOD. More often than not it makes the writer appear about fourteen years old, illiterate, and totally inexperienced when it comes to sex. Yeah, it's fantasy and fiction and AU and whatever, but it should still be accurate. I mean, come ON.

/rant

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

AMEN o/