it's funny because it's true.

[certainthings]

I don't remember his name but this was told by a stand up who was on Conan the other day. It makes me laugh. Like a lot.

"A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, 'It's probably not a good idea that you're in here, you're a very large animal, any sudden movements and you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.'"

Comments

[jrs1980.livejournal.com]

Kind of reminds me of Andy Blitz, who was a writer for Conan during LN. He did stand-up one night (the summer of '01) and said "If I'm ever on a hijacked plane, I'm going to have to stand up and ask the hijacker, 'Hey, why didn't you just get on the plane that was already going where you want it to...?'" His routine was hilar.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

That does sound like something I'd laugh at. A lot.

[jrs1980.livejournal.com]

The only other bit I remember is that he wanted to go on Who Wants to be a Millionaire, and be one of those people that comes to the right answer, but for completely wrong reasons.

Who was president during WWII?

Monroe, Jefferson, Lincoln, or Roosevelt.

"Well, I know it wasn't Lincoln, because WWII was in the 1900s, and Lincoln wasn't president until later...Monroe...that's not actually a president, I don't think, Jefferson had defected to Italy by then, so...Roosevelt?" "...Correct." "YAY!"

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Bwahahahaha.

Is this on youtube anywhere? Everything should be on youtube.

[jrs1980.livejournal.com]

If it were, I would have linked you. :-/ Also, I kind of BSed my way through that, because I don't remember the specifics, just the gist of the joke.

I just Googled and the first joke is in here apparently, but you living in Canadia might mean you can't see it...

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

You're right, I can't watch that. But I did find a clip of him on TheComedyNetwork.

[jrs1980.livejournal.com]

Damn foreigners, trying to watch our vids. I found this, it's a boot of a show he did. Haven't listened yet, though.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much.

[jrs1980.livejournal.com]

PS: Hello, motherlode.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

!!!!! Thank you.

They have the Mel Brooks - Bob Costas interview. And that just might be my favourite interview ever.