I don't even really have words

[certainthings]

Little while ago someone over yonder uploaded The Perfect Penis. I'm watching it now. Maybe some of you have seen it. Maybe you haven't.

Yeah. Under the cut is a picture of a man's dick and balls. This picture isn't work safe. I'm pretty sure it's not life safe either.

This man has had silcone implants. This man sometimes refers to it as "the blob". This man can no longer have sex and he's okay with this. He can't stand and pee. Nor can he sit and pee. He has to sort of squat over the toilet bowl.

These have been your warnings. Now, come. Join me in the why would anyone do this to themselves. And the wtfery of it all.

Comments

[annella.livejournal.com]

WHAT. WHAT. NO. GOD. THAT IS SO WRONG. *sob*

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Heh. It's so wrong there's not a strong enough word to say just how fucking wrong it is.

[alwaysenduphere.livejournal.com]

Certainly wouldn't be the first thing that comes to my mind. TUMOR, more likely. Followed quickly (or possibly preceded by) HOLY CRAP THATS HIDEOUS.

[citibyrd.livejournal.com]

UM. I just. WHAT?

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Yeah, just about that.

[giantlovetingle.livejournal.com]

oh. my. god. that's gotta be one of the weirdest things i've ever seen or heard about. seriously? why!? and how was performing that procedure even legal? is this set in the states?

[annapeace.livejournal.com]

Oh god when you said he couldn't stand and pee or sit and pee, my first thought was OMG HE CAN'T PEE ANYMORE? WON'T HE DIE?

Then I thought OMG HE HAS A CATHETER IN HIM FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE?

And then I was a smart person and read the rest of that paragraph. God, it's good he can't have sex, because I sure as hell don't want that thing near me. It'd be like "hey honey, let's get it on - JESUS WHAT IS GROWING FROM YOUR DICK? OH GOD!"

[gottalovev.livejournal.com]

0_0

okay then.

The blob indeed! WHY?

[diner]

It looks like a rock actually, all hard and EWW that's just BLUGH. Dear lord.

[allzugern.livejournal.com]

o.O

*hands*

[allzugern.livejournal.com]

And you know what's more frightening than that dick? Somewhere out there, some gay man is wondering how he can get it up his ass.

[jeyhawk.livejournal.com]

It's like he stuffed the elephant man in his pants... WHY?

[quidditchkiss.livejournal.com]

WHY DID I CLICK ON IT.

WHY DID I CLICK ON IT.

WHY DID I CLICK ON IT.

WHY DID I CLICK ON IT.

WHY DID I CLICK ON IT.

WHY DID I CLICK ON IT.

What has been seen cannot be unseen.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

That part was, yeah. He lives in San Francisco. I don't know how that's legal or well to THAT extreme.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Ahaahahaaha. I'd hope most people would freak out if they saw that coming at them.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Heh. I do not know why really.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

The guy with that dick there is gay and said something along the lines of, 'Sometimes I'll see a young cute guy and think, I'd love to fuck his ass.' and then went on to say basically that having that thing as is dick was more satisfying then the 15 minutes of pleasure he'd get from fucking some guy.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

He wanted a midget arm as his dick?

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Ahahahahahahhahahaaha. *ahem*

[gwendolynmstacy.livejournal.com]

Pretty much but uh, my second thought was I sort of hope doing something that dumb comes back to bite him in the ass some day. If anything I hope it backfires ala 'something about mary' and gotten it stuck in his fly more than once just to show him that, no, it really isn't awesome (even if he is fine with not having sex), it's VERY stupid.

[popmusicjunkie.livejournal.com]

WHY?

What is the point? I just do not get it.

[sonicbookmark.livejournal.com]

I thought I was prepared but I wasn't.

WHAT THE FLIPPING FUCK DID HE DO THAT TO HIMSELF FOR???

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Aahahahahaha.

I don't really get why he did it.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

It does. He should paint it like people do for their pet rocks.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

I don't know.