Mock the Week.

[certainthings]

Russell Howard: I like putting marbles up my brother's bum. Don't judge me, I did that once. I'm not showing off but when you're eight and your little brother is six, the power you have is incredible. 'I put some marbles up your bum.' 'Why?' 'If we get enough in there you turn into a wizard.' '*gasp* Fill me up! Fill me up!'


...I don't even know!

Comments

[apey1013.livejournal.com]

That...sounds like the beginnings of a Law & Order: SVU episode.

Stabler: *slams perp against wall* Why'd you do it, huh? Why? Your own brother! Did it make you feel like a man? How wouldya like it if I shoved marbles up YOUR ass, huh?

Cragin: Stabler, you are treating this person who is innocent until proven guilty VERY BADLY and you must understand how MILDLY ANNOYED I am with you. Now excuse me whilst I give you a slap on the wrist but ultimately let you keep your job so as to continue the perp-slamming for several more seasons. Seriously, the one where you slammed that kid's face into the bench? And he was half your size? Thing of beauty.

[apey1013.livejournal.com]

Of course, then there's be some sort of twist ('cause it's L&O) and when they find marbles in the older brother's lower intestines they discover that it was from some scene in a porn he did for money to pay for his drug habit/gambling habit/crippled relative/girlfriend's abortion which the little brother saw a video of on his laptop and he decided to be just like his brother. Oh wait, the brothers are 8 and 6? Never mind, the twist is kiddie porn with the social worker.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

*nods* Yeah, it'd probably happen just like that. You should start writing for the show.

[apey1013.livejournal.com]

I probably should. I've seen enough of it in the last year and a half that I think I've got the patterns down. I was watching SVU with roomie-girl today and we always try to call the twists so there we were, half talking and half paying attention and I suddenly shouted "GAY FOR PAY!" Her expression was priceless. (I was right, though.)

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Hah!