forwarded emails

My aunt forwards me all those funny/touching/etc.ing emails that float around the internet and no one knows where they originally come from. I let them pile up for a month sometimes ... most of the time longer before I get around to reading them.  This one cracked me up. A lot. -

I just want to thank all of you for your educational e-mails over the past year.

Thanks to you, I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel.

I can't use the remote in a hotel room because I don't know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels.

I can't sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.

I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pass-time while driving alone is picking your nose. (Although cell phone usage may be taking the number one spot)

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Mock the Week.

Russell Howard: I like putting marbles up my brother's bum. Don't judge me, I did that once. I'm not showing off but when you're eight and your little brother is six, the power you have is incredible. 'I put some marbles up your bum.' 'Why?' 'If we get enough in there you turn into a wizard.' '*gasp* Fill me up! Fill me up!'


...I don't even know!