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Pick up Lines

Are your legs tired? Oh, well, I'm not surprised; your thighs are almost comically muscular.

You must wash your pants with Windex, because something really smells like Windex.

Your father must have been a thief. I don't know, you just have the look of someone who was raised by criminals.

If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? That is to say, would you be offended by my comments, not would you physically hold your body against mine. Sorry for any confusion. Anyways, would you?

Do you have a little Italian in you? Really? Wait, what was your last name again? Oh, yeah, I guess that does sound Irish. Never mind.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I probably wouldn't. Can you imagine how much that would screw with everybody?

Are you from Tennessee? I hate people from Tennessee.

Excuse me; I seem to have misplaced my inmate number, which was assigned to me by this state's accursed penal system after it was discovered that I was indeed the "Fruit by the Foot Strangler." Can I borrow yours?

Can I borrow a quarter? I need to call my mother and tell her I've found the girl I'm going to annoy for the next 5-10 minutes.


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30 here

Fictional Conversation

[drunk and playing guitar]

Jared: We should start a rock band.
Jensen: A two man rock band?
Jared: Yeah, it worked for ... well, I'm sure it worked for someone.
Jensen: Yeah, them. Of course.
Jared: C'mon, man. Me, you ... the open road. Hundreds of women waiting to jump our bones after every show.
Jensen: Uh, Jared? Hundreds of women already want to jump our bones. They're kind of scary.
Jared: But groupies are different than the fangirls we have now.
Jensen: [raises eyebrow]
Jared: They throw their underwear on the stage.
Jensen: [laughs] You and I both know that you'd run screaming if some girl showed up on set and threw her underwear at you.
Jared: You'd run too! But if we were rockers, it'd be expected!
Jensen: Jared? Do you want me to throw my boxers at you?
Jared: It wouldn't hurt.