How To Be A Supermodel

[certainthings]

Since I am a CoverGirl, I thought if any of you are interested in learning a little bit about modeling I could offer you some tips, I've sashayed down plenty of catwalks in my day - well, one. But I know what it takes to make an impression. So here are some suggestions, as long as you are willing to be fierce.

One: The Look
Always look like you're angry at the universe for making you too pretty.

Two: The Walk
Trot. Aggressively, like you're a horse that's trying to avoid puddles.

Three: The Squint
Squint like someone is bouncing sunlight off their watch and directly into your eyes.

Four: The Pout
Get those lips out there. Purse your lips like you're trying to sip out of a straw that someone keeps moving away from you.

Five: The Pose
Be mysterious. Always pose with one hand in your pocket as if to say, "I'm so mysterious, this hand in my pocket could be a hook hand. You don't know."

Six: The Breeze
Carry a giant oscillating fan with you at all times. No exceptions.

Now put it all together. Trot! Squint! Get the straw! Who's a pretty girl? You are. Keep trotting!



- Ellen Degeneres - Seriously, I'm Kidding.

Comments

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Then you should give it a try.

[muses-circle.livejournal.com]

Knowing my luck, I'd wind up twisting my ankle while trotting across the room, because the squinting would make me bump into things. Which would probably make my classes double over with laughter, 'cause let's face it, watching teachers make fools of themselves is actually hilarious.