How To Be A Supermodel

[certainthings]

Since I am a CoverGirl, I thought if any of you are interested in learning a little bit about modeling I could offer you some tips, I've sashayed down plenty of catwalks in my day - well, one. But I know what it takes to make an impression. So here are some suggestions, as long as you are willing to be fierce.

One: The Look
Always look like you're angry at the universe for making you too pretty.

Two: The Walk
Trot. Aggressively, like you're a horse that's trying to avoid puddles.

Three: The Squint
Squint like someone is bouncing sunlight off their watch and directly into your eyes.

Four: The Pout
Get those lips out there. Purse your lips like you're trying to sip out of a straw that someone keeps moving away from you.

Five: The Pose
Be mysterious. Always pose with one hand in your pocket as if to say, "I'm so mysterious, this hand in my pocket could be a hook hand. You don't know."

Six: The Breeze
Carry a giant oscillating fan with you at all times. No exceptions.

Now put it all together. Trot! Squint! Get the straw! Who's a pretty girl? You are. Keep trotting!



- Ellen Degeneres - Seriously, I'm Kidding.

Comments

[framedhim.livejournal.com]

Cracked me up. I like Ellen's humor :)

I've never understood the trot, even when I watched ANTM and they instructed the models. I've never wanted couture because the people near gallop/high step down the catwalk. Maybe.

The look, I have that. If by it, one means 'never smiled in high school and everyone thought I was a bitch because of it.' I have that in spades.

Carry a giant osc. fan: I do. Always.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

I too enjoy her humour.

I don't understand the walk either but I remember I saw an article on yahoo awhile back that said that people that do that walk "look more successful from 20 feet away" or some # of feet away, it was either 20 or 10. I don't remember much else about the article like why someone walking that way would look successful.

--Carry a giant osc. fan: I do. Always.-- Ahahahah. That's great.

[donna-c-punk.livejournal.com]

IIRC, the exaggerated walk is to show off the movement of the clothing. *watches too much Project Runway*

[framedhim.livejournal.com]

Between this and from above, the looking more successful, I can see that. Thank you both :)

I used to watch Project Runway as well. ::misses my old tv viewing::

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Walking that exaggerates the movements of the clothes makes sense, but I still don't see how it makes you look successful unless you are or look like a model.

[framedhim.livejournal.com]

I should first say that I'm pulling this idea from thin air as I haven't the faintest clue ::never stopped me before, hah:: but I'm thinking if you walk like a show horse, you probably have to keep your head up to not trip and bust your arse.

And regardless of the squint effect, doing so establishes eye contact. Which I suppose translates into confidence. I've always been hounded to lift my head when walking to not appear so shy.

Maybe? And now, I must squint in confidence as my short hair blows gloriously, while I trot outside to take the trash out. :D

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Ahh, all right. That makes sense.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Ahh, interesting to know.