F13

[certainthings]

Including myself there were 13 of us in the theatre. Awesome.

disclaimer / I'm not a nice person and I probably ... maybe  would've liked the movie more if I didn't want to punch Panabaker in the face

Robert Pattinson: The Cast of F13: As I was trying to explain to my manager about that, I was like, 'I'm not good at the stuff when you're like ... when someone's coming up behind you and you gotta look scared.' And he's like, 'What? Acting?'

- What was the point of keeping Whitney alive? If they'd shown some sort of sign that she was kept as a pet or something for him to rape, I'd understand that. But she was just kind of there. I mean I like Righetti, I just don't understand why she was kept alive. ... right, because of the mom thing. thank you killerweasel and winterweathered

- Why erm, why was Jared's acting kind of suck ass? I really do not understand that.

- I'm fairly certain that it was Panabaker who said in an interview that the death scenes were "realistic" and maybe it was her or someone else but I'm sure that at some point I heard something about "gruesome" or a word like that, though it's possible I just imagined the last part. Anyway, my point is ... and I do have one. Those death scenes were fucking boring as shit. (the deaths in My Bloody Valentine were far more amusing)

- My favourite part of the movie (other than seeing Jared's nose on the big screen) was "Are you looking for this." (the hockey stick)  Ahaahaha. No, seriously. Ahahahahhaah.

- Jason. Jason Jason Jason. How exactly is he so big? Like what is he living on? Does he eat the people that he kills? And how is he so fucking quick and stealthy? Is he a secret ninja gymnast during the off season? Fucking hell.

- I ended up enjoying Vanilla Ice's son's character a lot. And the other two guys ... Chewie and uh the other guy's name that I can't remember. Ryan Hansen's character was all right. The girls ... were girls. Meh.

- What the fuck was with Clay and his reaction to Jenna's death? (which by the way was really fucking pathetic and weak and I want my money back) It was like he wanted to be upset and was forcing himself to be upset. "Oh, no. Oh. Fuck. We spent the day together and your hair was really greasy shiny and uh ... Oh. Oh, dearie me."

- Ugh. Why'd it take so long for her fucking character to die and really why was her murder so lame? I'm seriously SERIOUSLY offended by that.

- Remember in Lake Placid how Betty White's character was sorta the mom to the crocodiles? I was kind of hoping that the old lady in F13 would be like that to Jason.

- Which, by the by .... was Jason selling the pot and that's why he had to kill people?

- Clay's phonecall to the police to tell them about the homocide was really ... lame.

- I got a teeny tiny bit "awwish" at the end when Clay and Whitney were killing Jason.

- But then at the very very end when Jason showed off his trained dolphin move I was all, 'YES!'

- *bangs head against wall* This movie pissed me off a lot.

- Sometimes I wish that movies like this actually scared me because then maybe I wouldn't be so cranky. But then maybe I wouldn't like being scared, I dunno.

- I'm sure I'm forgetting things. More bitching for another day. Oh, joys.

- Please link me to your posts as I avoided them because I didn't want to be spoiled.

Comments

[lalita82.livejournal.com]

Love your review, I haven't seen the movie. Probably won't watch it anytime soon,those movies can wait until dvd for me I don't mind being spoiled.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

I mostly went because I wanted to see Jared's nose on the big screen. If he wasn't in the movie, I'd wait until it was on my tv.

[lalita82.livejournal.com]

Very true! LOL!

[meltingconfetti.livejournal.com]

I liked it when Jared rode the motorcyle. :)

There was some other stuff, too, but that was my favorite.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Oh, yes. That part was also good.

[gwendolynmstacy.livejournal.com]

Reviewish stuff


You bring up valid points which, yeah, I DID like MBV more. BECAUSE at least it wasn't all 'OH OKAY WHOOPS *KILLS*'. MBV at least made it fun, this, kind of didn't.

Also, the really good punch line to this film seems to be: "If you're after Jason's weed GTFO before he kills you."

*head desk*

I posted the soundtrack if you wanted it it's not too bad

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

It really really didn't and I think that if no one had said, "the death scenes are realistic." I wouldn't have been quite so disappointed.

"If you're after Jason's weed GTFO before he kills you."

Hahaha. That should be the movie's tag line.

[killerweasel.livejournal.com]

Compared to a lot of other horror movies I've seen, I didn't think this one was all that scary. The bit where the old lady's dog was all barky was probably the only time I jumped while watching it.

I felt kinda bad for the the idiot college pothead morons in the start and the ones later because you knew they were all just going to be cannon fodder for Jason to play with.

Is it weird I liked pot-selling redneck who wanted to screw his wooden chick more than the majority of the cast?

I'm thinking the only Whitney was left alive was because she supposedly looked like Jason's mother. And then I had this weird thought that Jason kept his mother chained up in the basement too, which made no sense.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

I didn't think this one was all that scary
That's because it wasn't. :p

The bit where the old lady's dog was all barky was probably the only time I jumped while watching it.
That also made me jump a bit but I'm not counting it as "being scary/scared" or anything like that because I would've done the same if it'd been in a comedy movie or any other movie.

I felt kinda bad for the the idiot college pothead morons
I didn't. Because Jason did need new friends ... plus the one chick had bad tits.

Is it weird I liked pot-selling redneck who wanted to screw his wooden chick more than the majority of the cast?
Nah, at least he had character.

I'm thinking the only Whitney was left alive was because she supposedly looked like Jason's mother.
Right, right. That makes sense. Thanks.

[winterweathered.livejournal.com]

He kept Whitney alive because she looked like his mother - remember at the beginning when her boyfriend pointed out the resemblance?

I'M SORRY, WHAT? ARE YOU TELLING ME TRAVIS VAN WINKLE IS VANILLA ICE'S SON? NO WAY.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Yeah, killerweasel just pointed that out to me.

I have no idea if he actually is his son but since they have the same last name, I'm saying that they are.

[naficeh.livejournal.com]

the deaths in My Bloody Valentine were far more amusing

Agreed. But as a whole I thought Friday the 13th was the better between them.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

I dunno, I'd have to see them again but I'm thinking I did like MBV more.

[naficeh.livejournal.com]

I think it was the 3D aspect of MBV that made it look better. I haven't seen it in 2D, but I don't think it would be quite as impressive.

[fromyourashes.livejournal.com]

I downloaded it, and skipped most of it. Love me some Jared, but even I couldn't force myself to sit through the entire thing. He was better in the Christmas movie, and man, I really hate movies like that, but I'd rather watch that a dozen times on repeat than try to sit through this again. Then again, I've never been a fan of the franchise. I'm a Freddy girl, tbh, and those movies don't scare me, either. The only movie that scares the crap out of me is Halloween. Jason and Freddy are just gross, but at least Freddy's awesome.

However, Jared was so very fucking hot. His ass in those jeans...there are no words.

The one thing I can't stop thinking now, though, after seeing F-13 last night and seeing that commercial for Race to Witch Mountain (I think that's what it's called, or maybe Escape?) with The Rock? Jared's like...a mini Rock. I think he's going to end up being one of THOSE actors. The Rock, Ahhnold, Stallone, Dolph Lundgren and Padalecki.

Unless he drops fifty pounds and pulls a Little Buddha, a la Keanu.

Sigh.

Still haven't seen MBV, since there are no decent downloads, lol, so I can't compare.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Why'd you skip through most of it?

Ahahaahhaa. Jared is totally going to be THAT guy. Oh, poor Jared.

[fromyourashes.livejournal.com]

I was just in it for Jared, tbh. I'm not a fan of that whole slasher movie equation of tits/drugs/sex/old jokes/gore, so I just skimmed it. It's not like the plot was going to be any good, lol. (Plus I'm a "watch through my fingers" type of viewer, so rather than try that, I just fast-forwarded and squinted.)

God, have you seen those commercials with The Rock? He's wearing a grey t-shirt (much like Jared's v-neck scrap of cotton that he's always got on, lately), and my first thought was, "Wow, it's future Jared. Hot like woah, blinding smile, gorgeous fingers, but oddly shaped head and acting skills that could use a bit of improvement." (That was a lot for a first thought. Really, it was more like, MMM, ROCK. MMM, LOOKS LIKE JAYRUHD. MMM, PRETTY.)

The mute button is gonna come in handy in the future, I tell you.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Right?! Why were the deaths so boring? I was yawning through most of them.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

They really weren't any of those things and maybe they were "realistic" I dunno, but I don't watch movies to see realistic things unless I'm watching a documentary.

The girl in the sleeping bag seemed to burn too quickly also. I dunno. Maybe not, but it seemed that way.

[cityphonelines.livejournal.com]

- Which, by the by .... was Jason selling the pot and that's why he had to kill people?

I pretty much said the same thing in the theater.

I enjoyed some of the deaths, like hung upside down and burnt girl's. And I liked that her fuck-buddy had to watch her burn.

I actually cheered OUT LOUD when Panabaker's character died, it wasn't JUST my Panabaker hate-on, her character was boring and I really wanted it to just be the siblings that lived if anyone was going to.

When Jason threw the ax at Lawrence I wanted it to be in 3D. What I'm saying is it was a good remake, but I ENJOYED MBV3D more. It had more character development.

I have no review, I just keep blathering to people in their posts.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

I sorta kind of liked that death, but it just seemed like it all happened too quickly. Like he had all the time to do that and set up the bear trap exactly where that guy was going to run into it ... I don't think so.

Her character was really boring and seriously, what is wrong with her face? There's something off about it.

[sarah-p.livejournal.com]

Which, by the by .... was Jason selling the pot and that's why he had to kill people?

HA, I went to see it with my friend, and in the scene where the first dude who dies finds the pot, I concluded to her that Jason clearly only goes after people who steal/want to steal his stash. Because, look, that stuff doesn't grow naturally--SOMEONE planted it, and, really, it HAS to be Jason.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Okay, yeah. I was thinking that it didn't grow naturally like that. Good to know I wasn't wrong.

I'm hoping at the end he killed Clay but kept Whitney around to help him sell the stuff in town.

[bubbles83.livejournal.com]

LOL. I saw it the other day with my family. I didn't post a review though. It was pretty shit, but it was nice to see Jared on the big screen.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Yes and YES.

[santacarlagypsy.livejournal.com]

This is all I actually posted about seeing the movie in my journal:

I went to see Friday the 13th yesterday. I loved it, just like I knew I would. And I loved Jared as Clay Miller. The boy looked absolutely STUNNING in it. Stunning to the point of distraction, actually. I can't wait to get the movie on DVD so that I can watch all of the Jared good parts on repeat. (But I do think My Bloody Valentine is my favorite of the two.)


(But I'll admit it, I'm one of those silly fangirls that thinks that the boys can do no wrong, so there's no way I wasn't going to love the movie....)

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

I'm looking forward to the dvd too, so that way I can just skip right to Panabaker's death and then go back and pretend that she's not there.

I do wish I could be one of those who feel/think that the boys can do no wrong.