Remember when Dean said...

[certainthings]

Dean: You know, when we were little-- you couldn't been more than 5 -- you just started asking questions. How come we didn't have a mom? Why do we always have to move around? Where'd Dad go when he'd take off for days at a time? I remember I begged you-- "Quit asking, Sammy. Man, you don't want to know." [chuckles softly] I just wanted you to be a kid...Just for a little while longer. I always tried to protect you...Keep you safe...Dad didn't even need to tell me. It was just always my responsibility, you know? It's like I had one job... I had one job... [voice breaking] And I screwed it up. I blew it. And for that, I'm sorry. [wiping away the tears] I guess that's what I do. I let down the people I love. I let Dad down. And now I guess I'm just supposed to let you down, too. How can I? How am I supposed to live with that? [crying] What am I supposed to do? Sammy. God. [sniffles] What am I supposed to do? [inhales sharply] What am I supposed to do?!

Comments

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

That's how I feel only you expressed it a lot better than I could've.

[earlofcardigans.livejournal.com]

I think maybe that Dean just wanted something to blame for his mother's death. He didn't know exactly what to do. He was just a little kid, but he took up John's crusade because he didn't have anything else. The demon!him was saying things that were burying in his subconscious. Things maybe Dean doesn't even believe on a regular day.
He took John's coat and John's car and John's music because he really did believe he was a superhero.

It's not that John was such a horrible father, he just didn't know what to do on his own with two kids and finding out there are things out there that he knows nothing about and can't protect anyone from.
I don't know. I have conflicting John opinions on any given day. Today I happen to like him.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

I like your thoughts.