...like they do on the Discovery Channel

30 Strangest Animal Mating Habits.

Fun and educational!

[snippets]

A female hyena has a pseudopenis, basically an enlarged clitoris, that they can erect at will. To mate, the meeker male has to insert his penis into her pseudopenis. That’s difficult for the males, but still nothing compared to the female having to give birth through a penis!

[giraffes] First, he nudges her rump to induce urination. He then takes a mouthful of urine. If it tastes good to him, then he begins to court her.

Second, to court a female during the short mating season, a male porcupine stands up on his hind legs, waddles up to her, and then sprays her with a huge stream of urine from as far as 6 feet away, and drench his would-be paramour from head to foot!

I didn't know that giraffes and porcupines were into watersports.

Male macaques will pay (in form of fruits) to get a peek at the hind quarters of a female macaque.

Actually, that’s not all: they will also pay to gaze at pictures of dominant "celebrity" monkeys (i.e. the high-ranking males) in their pack

They're just like us! :p

There’s dancing and there’s dancing - like the moonwalk that the male Manakin does to impress the ladies! Michael Jackson has nothing on them manakins!

You should really watch the video with that one. Mmhmm.

The male argonaut produces a ball of spermatozoa in a special tentacle called a hectocotylus. When meeting a female it fancies, the male then detaches its penis to swim by itself to the female!

Hahaha. "Go on without me but I want details when you get back!"

Straw Itch Mite: Incestuous Brothers

They really actually mate with their sisters but still. I like the heading.

The average size of a banana slug penis is 6 to 8 inches. This is incredibly impressive, considering their entire body length is 6 to 8 inches as well!

The title of world’s longest sperm actually belongs to a tiny fruit fly called Drosophila bifurca. When the coiled sperm is straightened out, it measures about 2 inches which is over 1,000 times longer than a human sperm. In fact, the testes of a fruit fly makes up 11 percent of the body mass of the male!

From head to tail, the Argentine lake duck measures about 17 inches. That also happens to be the length of its corkscrew-shaped penis when stretched out.

And then I insist, yes INSIST that you go here and watch the "Mating leopard slugs" because it's just awesome and nifty and kinda neat all at once. They're both male at the same time and yet they're both impregnating each other at the same time. And the male organs "entwine" and some how it's really kind of pretty. No seriously.

Go watch.