:D These excerpts are their own unique form of pain.
How could you actually finish this book?
She snapped her jaws. A small animal with dark fierce eyes. COMMAS, motherfucker. Use them.
He was lying there and he was pulling at it. In the champagne glass with his pants around his knees. I don't think you can "pull" while fucking a champagne glass. Pick one.
The woman had the greenest eyes I had ever seen. Seaweed-colored and good to look at in the heat and her left eye was as yellow as the sun. The heat improves eye color? Or the attractiveness of same? And how is her left eye both green and "yellow as the sun"?
I think you just need to try a better author. God, try ANY author other than this one. Holy self-indulgent diarrhetic prose, Batman. o_O
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winterfish
no subject
Date: 2011-01-03 08:47 pm (UTC)How could you actually finish this book?
She snapped her jaws. A small animal with dark fierce eyes.
COMMAS, motherfucker. Use them.
He was lying there and he was pulling at it. In the champagne glass with his pants around his knees.
I don't think you can "pull" while fucking a champagne glass. Pick one.
The woman had the greenest eyes I had ever seen. Seaweed-colored and good to look at in the heat and her left eye was as yellow as the sun.
The heat improves eye color? Or the attractiveness of same? And how is her left eye both green and "yellow as the sun"?
I think you just need to try a better author. God, try ANY author other than this one. Holy self-indulgent diarrhetic prose, Batman. o_O