it's so stupid, I love it.

[certainthings]

A man was waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor came and informed the dad that his son was born without a torso, arms, or legs. The son was just a head!

But the dad loved his son and raised him as well as he could. Eighteen years later, the son was old enough for his first drink. The dad took him to a bar, tearfully told him he was proud of him, and ordered the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously, the boy took his first sip of alcohol.

Swoooop! A torso popped out!

The bar was dead silent, then burst into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begged his son to drink again. The patrons chanted, "Take another drink! Take another drink!" The bartender shook his head in dismay.

Swoooop! Two arms popped out!

The bar went wild. The father, crying and wailing, begged his son to drink again. The patrons chanted, "Take another drink! Take another drink!" But the bartender ignored the whole affair.

By this time, the boy was getting tipsy. With his new hands, he reached down, grabbed the drink, and guzzled the last of it.

Swoooop! Two legs popped out.

The bar was in chaos. The father wept with joy. The boy stood up on his new legs. He stumbled to the left. He stumbled to the right. Then he stumbled through the front door and into the street, where a truck ran him over.

The bar fell silent. The father moaned with grief. The bartender merely sighed and said, "He should have quit while he was a head."

Comments

[eilan.livejournal.com]

LOL
So bad, but still so good.

[killerweasel.livejournal.com]

lmao!

[fetisha.livejournal.com]

My dad just told Tatem this joke the other day. hahahaaha

[lp05.livejournal.com]

hahahahaha

[earlofcardigans.livejournal.com]

oh smidge. you make my day.

[agt-league.livejournal.com]

...Oh my God, LMFAO. I'm so disturbed and amused at the same time, LMFAO.

[gwendolynmstacy.livejournal.com]

It's so bad but also amusing

[alwaysenduphere.livejournal.com]

[oddegg.livejournal.com]

A man was sitting in the bar when he noticed another patron a few stools away. The guy had a body like Charles atlas, but his head was the size of a thimble. The man said, "Please excuse me for staring, but I can't help but be curious as to why your body is so well developed, but your head is so small?"

The man said, "Buy me a drink and I'll tell you."

The drink was ordered and the story began. "I was in the navy and my ship was sunk by a torpedo. I was the only survivor and I managed to make it to a deserted island a few miles away. I had been there for several months and was sitting on the beach one day waiting for a bird or fish to come by so I would have something to eat. Looking up, I saw a beautiful mermaid sunning on a nearby rock. She swam over to me and informed me that she was a magical mermaid and could grant me three wishes. 'Great,' I said. 'I'd like to be rescued.' She slapped the water with her tail and a ship appeared, sailing straight for my island. Next I asked for a body like Charles atlas. Another slap of the tail and here it is. Then, noticing how beautiful she was and all my other wishes fulfilled, I asked if I could make love to her. She said no, it just wouldn't work her being half fish and all, so I said:

'Well, how about a little head then?'

[20shannon.livejournal.com]

teehee yes i am five :)

[samgwinchester.livejournal.com]

My dad told me that one (with slight modifications) when I was about six after my stuffed bunny's head fell off. :P

[bubl.livejournal.com]

Lol ♥

I was going to say your joke had an error, but drinking age is 18 in Canada, isn't it?

[thelocation.livejournal.com]

*slaps knee* Bwahahahahaha!
Good one :D

[giantlovetingle.livejournal.com]

ngl, i lol'd XD