AIE. The 'better place' thing is ALWAYS ALWAYS going to be patronizing and, worst of all, dismissing. Like "Hey, he's in a better place! Why are you STILL so heavy about this, months later??"
When my best friend had a miscarriage, she heard a LOT of that. "Your baby is in a better place," (which was awful, so it's better for the baby to be ELSEWHERE than with her??) and "Your baby is with GOD."
Basically, I think death is for the living. You cannot know what happens after death or be able to really SAY, unconditionally, that after death the spirit is somewhere 'better' or 'good'. All you can do is be there for the living as they suffer loss, and be as useful and attentive as possible.
Anyway, people are so stupid about death! I don't get it, because we ALL die! So we're all going to know people who have died or die ourselves. I don't get how we can all have this common experience yet suck so bad at relating to each other.
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winterfish
no subject
Date: 2008-08-02 06:51 pm (UTC)When my best friend had a miscarriage, she heard a LOT of that. "Your baby is in a better place," (which was awful, so it's better for the baby to be ELSEWHERE than with her??) and "Your baby is with GOD."
Basically, I think death is for the living. You cannot know what happens after death or be able to really SAY, unconditionally, that after death the spirit is somewhere 'better' or 'good'. All you can do is be there for the living as they suffer loss, and be as useful and attentive as possible.
Anyway, people are so stupid about death! I don't get it, because we ALL die! So we're all going to know people who have died or die ourselves. I don't get how we can all have this common experience yet suck so bad at relating to each other.