I don't even really have words

[certainthings]

Little while ago someone over yonder uploaded The Perfect Penis. I'm watching it now. Maybe some of you have seen it. Maybe you haven't.

Yeah. Under the cut is a picture of a man's dick and balls. This picture isn't work safe. I'm pretty sure it's not life safe either.

This man has had silcone implants. This man sometimes refers to it as "the blob". This man can no longer have sex and he's okay with this. He can't stand and pee. Nor can he sit and pee. He has to sort of squat over the toilet bowl.

These have been your warnings. Now, come. Join me in the why would anyone do this to themselves. And the wtfery of it all.

Comments

[fullonswayzeed.livejournal.com]

He has the biggest dick in the world and he can't have sex. IRONIC.

[crackedbuthappy.livejournal.com]

What do you - I mean HOW do you - it's just - OH DEAR GOD.


His dick and balls look like a goiter.

[sophiebriand.livejournal.com]

ugh. ugh. ugh. so not sexy.

it kind of looks like this man's pet. i'm assuming he doesn't go to work, either, right? jeebus.

[earthquakedream.livejournal.com]

why would they even let him do that to himself? it's..disgusting. D:

...edited so i can use a more appropriate icon.

ALSO HOW DOES HE EVEN FIT THAT THING IN HIS PANTS?? DOES HE LEAVE THE HOUSE?

[offside.livejournal.com]

what. the actual. fuck.

[oreius.livejournal.com]

Idiot!

[laurondo.livejournal.com]

Dumbass.

[gwendolynmstacy.livejournal.com]

What the fuck? No, you know what, just fucking no.

[killerweasel.livejournal.com]

O_o

And of course I couldn't help myself and clicked on the picture to make it larger.

... Can he walk? And I'm trying to figure out how he puts on pants. I'm picturing a third pantleg just for the 'blob'.

[alwaysenduphere.livejournal.com]

HOW DOES...WHAT DOES...WHAAAA?

It doesn't even really LOOK like a man's private parts anymore.

I'm disturbed beyond what I actually thought I could be disturbed anymore.

[oreius.livejournal.com]

Ok, so I just looked at the bigger version of the picture and WTF!!?! I just died laughing because my second thought was I wonder what the come load is like......... >.>

[arami.livejournal.com]

o_O

[nomelon.livejournal.com]

Wait, was this the outcome that he wanted? Or just a botched op that he's okay with because he came out of it with a big dick? I'm confused at the okay with not having sex part. And laughing on the inside. Uh, I think.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Yep. That's what he wanted. I don't know why exactly.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Mmhmm

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Pretty much, yeah.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

He has some website but I think he could go to work, maybe. I'm not sure.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

I really do not know. Because seriously.

I guess he wears really loose in the crotch pants. And he does, they showed him walking down the street. Well, the camera was just focused on his crotch area but yeah.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Right?!

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

I'd laugh if it were just a wee little splat

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Heh. Yes.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

There's not enough no in the world.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Hah. He can walk. They showed him walking.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

It so doesn't. I mean if I just saw it and the rest of the picture had been cut out and I didn't know ... I'm not sure that 'dick and balls' would be my first guess. Yanno?

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Yeah.