How To Be A Supermodel

[certainthings]

Since I am a CoverGirl, I thought if any of you are interested in learning a little bit about modeling I could offer you some tips, I've sashayed down plenty of catwalks in my day - well, one. But I know what it takes to make an impression. So here are some suggestions, as long as you are willing to be fierce.

One: The Look
Always look like you're angry at the universe for making you too pretty.

Two: The Walk
Trot. Aggressively, like you're a horse that's trying to avoid puddles.

Three: The Squint
Squint like someone is bouncing sunlight off their watch and directly into your eyes.

Four: The Pout
Get those lips out there. Purse your lips like you're trying to sip out of a straw that someone keeps moving away from you.

Five: The Pose
Be mysterious. Always pose with one hand in your pocket as if to say, "I'm so mysterious, this hand in my pocket could be a hook hand. You don't know."

Six: The Breeze
Carry a giant oscillating fan with you at all times. No exceptions.

Now put it all together. Trot! Squint! Get the straw! Who's a pretty girl? You are. Keep trotting!



- Ellen Degeneres - Seriously, I'm Kidding.

Comments

[muses-circle.livejournal.com]

I dunno, mimicking that could make for some interesting discussion in my honors English classes....

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Then you should give it a try.

[muses-circle.livejournal.com]

Knowing my luck, I'd wind up twisting my ankle while trotting across the room, because the squinting would make me bump into things. Which would probably make my classes double over with laughter, 'cause let's face it, watching teachers make fools of themselves is actually hilarious.

[framedhim.livejournal.com]

Cracked me up. I like Ellen's humor :)

I've never understood the trot, even when I watched ANTM and they instructed the models. I've never wanted couture because the people near gallop/high step down the catwalk. Maybe.

The look, I have that. If by it, one means 'never smiled in high school and everyone thought I was a bitch because of it.' I have that in spades.

Carry a giant osc. fan: I do. Always.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

I too enjoy her humour.

I don't understand the walk either but I remember I saw an article on yahoo awhile back that said that people that do that walk "look more successful from 20 feet away" or some # of feet away, it was either 20 or 10. I don't remember much else about the article like why someone walking that way would look successful.

--Carry a giant osc. fan: I do. Always.-- Ahahahah. That's great.

[donna-c-punk.livejournal.com]

IIRC, the exaggerated walk is to show off the movement of the clothing. *watches too much Project Runway*

[framedhim.livejournal.com]

Between this and from above, the looking more successful, I can see that. Thank you both :)

I used to watch Project Runway as well. ::misses my old tv viewing::

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Walking that exaggerates the movements of the clothes makes sense, but I still don't see how it makes you look successful unless you are or look like a model.

[framedhim.livejournal.com]

I should first say that I'm pulling this idea from thin air as I haven't the faintest clue ::never stopped me before, hah:: but I'm thinking if you walk like a show horse, you probably have to keep your head up to not trip and bust your arse.

And regardless of the squint effect, doing so establishes eye contact. Which I suppose translates into confidence. I've always been hounded to lift my head when walking to not appear so shy.

Maybe? And now, I must squint in confidence as my short hair blows gloriously, while I trot outside to take the trash out. :D

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Ahh, all right. That makes sense.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Ahh, interesting to know.

[hamarakissa.livejournal.com]

Ellen's humor is always hilarious - I love watching her :)

<3

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

I don't watch her show that often but I do love her stand up.

[sonicbookmark.livejournal.com]

I love her Covergirl commercials. XD

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

I love her stand up so much, she should do more.