Because Jared's a nice guy

[certainthings]

[Fictional Conversation - on the phone]

Jared: You going to Australia, man?

Jensen: Yeah, why? Wanna come?

Jared: Like to, but I can't. I just wanted to give you some uh, points.

Jensen: Points?

Jared: Tips. Whatever. Just shut up and listen. Don't drink Fosters - the commercials lie - Australians hate that shit.

Jensen: Okay ...

Jared: But they love it when you ask if they have kangaroos and koalas in their back yard.

Jensen: I'm not an idiot, Jared.

Jared: Keep telling yourself that, dude. And last tip. Use the word root a lot.

Jensen: Root?

Jared: Yeah, like, 'I'm going to root for the home team.'

Jensen: Uh, okay?

Jared: So you'll call when you get back?

Jensen: Might even call before I get back.

Jared: Such a girl, Jen.

Jensen: I'm hanging up.

Comments

[pippilottah.livejournal.com]

Hahaha, Jared's such a good friend ;P

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

He really is.

[quiet-rebel.livejournal.com]

Jared: But they love it when you ask if they have kangaroos and koalas in their back yard.

Jensen: I'm not an idiot, Jared.

LOL! You forgot Jensen's eyes rolling. Hehe.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Nah, it's in there. Along with his slightly annoyed sighing.

[apey1013.livejournal.com]

And then Jen brings him home a plushie koala.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Probably.

[blacklid.livejournal.com]

With a hole in it.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Ahhahahahaha. *images* <-- said as a verb

[oddegg.livejournal.com]

I'm going to root for the home team

Evil!Jared ftw!

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Hahah.

[oddegg.livejournal.com]

Did you see missyjack's post about this?
Apparently if he goes on a tv show called Rove he'll get asked "who would you turn gay for?"
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LMFAO!!

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

I did see that. I had scenarios (http://katysam.livejournal.com/49020.html?thread=269692#t269692) - only it wasn't in missyjack's lj

[oddegg.livejournal.com]

Jensen: ...what do you mean, 'turn' gay?
Jared: They just mean in public Jensen, like the kissing.
Jensen: Ohhhh, right.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Hahah.

Root....ROFLMAO

[blacklid.livejournal.com]

Aw, smidgy! *guffaws and chucks you one on the chin admiringly*
These always make me laugh! Just thought you should know that you're awesome... :)

Re: Root....ROFLMAO

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

It'd be a lot of fun if, you know, Jensen didn't know.

[uglyduckling-me.livejournal.com]

:D

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

:)

[brianrubin.livejournal.com]

Your fictional conversations keep making me laugh. Great job! :)

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

\o/

[pushingyouaway.livejournal.com]

n'awwwww they're so cute together *happy sigh*


*cookies*

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

:)

[apostrophee.livejournal.com]

You: 4
Internet: 2

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Yay team me!

[rl2hb.livejournal.com]

I can only imagine some of the things Jensen will say when he gets back such as...

Jensen: "Hey, lets chuck a sickie because I cracked a fat and want to have a naughty in the nuddy with you."
Jared: "What?"
Jensen: "Yeah, and you can put your doodle in my freckle, then we can go to Maccas."
Jared: "What?"

Clearly, I know all about Australia and used these all correctly. Yup, I did...

[rl2hb.livejournal.com]

Well, all right then. Clearly I did something right. Thanks Google!

Also, breathe. :-)

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Hahah. Yeah, I don't think I understood any of that.

[rl2hb.livejournal.com]

from http://www.koalanet.com.au/australian-slang.html
Chuck a sickie : take the day off sick from work when you're perfectly healthy
Crack a fat : get an erection
Naughty, have a : have sex
Nuddy, in the : naked
Doodle : penis
Freckle : anus
Maccas (pron. "mackers") : McDonald's (the hamburger place)

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Thank you

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Hee. I win.

[magikalrhiannon.livejournal.com]

mate we don't just hate that shit, we only export it. It's rare to find a pub that sells that shit anyway.

and I would give him the $20 just to answer the who would you turn gay for question alone. Fuck the other 18 seconds of questions.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

I want to know who he'd say. I mean obviously the answer is Jared - but I don't think he'd say that.

[thursdaywench.livejournal.com]

hehehe. your fictional conversations are like wheaties. ^.^

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

They taste kind of bland?

[thursdaywench.livejournal.com]

nah, they're great for breakfast. give you that energy burst that athletes need. LOL not that we play sports. but no, i loves your FCs :D

[vunadiwai.livejournal.com]

I love it when you post these :D

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

\o/

[katysam.livejournal.com]

Now that it looks like both Jared and Jensen will have visited Australia do you think it would be okay to start writing J2 fic using Aussie slang?


***

Jezza and Jaz are heading to Surfers in their rented Holden Commodore, hammering down the freeway at 100 clicks and listening to Barnsey, Farnsey and Acca Dacca.

"Jezza," Jaz yells over the blare of the radio. "We need to stop."

"Jaz," Jezza sighs and turns off the radio. "We only just stopped. We're in the middle of whoop whoop and I wanna make it to the caravan park in time to throw a few snags on the barbie."

"You know, I love it when you talk dirty to me but it 'aint gonna work this time. I really need a slash. Pull over," Jaz whines and shifts uncomfortably in his seat.

Jezza rolls his eyes. "You dickhead. I told you you downin' a slab was a dodgy idea.

"But I really need to go. Now!"

"I saw a roadhouse back a bit. I'll just chuck a U-ey...

"There's no time, Jezza. Pull. Over. Now." Jaz pleads.

"Fine." Jezza says, as he slows the car and pulls off onto the stones at the side of the road.

Jaz is fumbling with his thongs, struggling to slip them on his feet, at the same time as he's reaching for the door handle. Jezza brings the car to a complete stop and Jaz is out the door like a shot, almost falling A over T in his haste.

"Mate!" Jensen hollers. "Careful. Falling over because your budgie smugglers are wrapped around your ankles is not a valid excuse for flashing a brown eye to the east coast of Australia! The locals aren't ready to see that side of your six-foot-four arse."

***

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

I got that Jared had to pee real bad. And dude, I love that you still call them thongs. I MISS that!

[katysam.livejournal.com]

Cool. So, no translation required.

And, yep, they will always be thongs.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

If you wanted to translate it all - I wouldn't say no, but if you don't want to, I'll be okay.

[katysam.livejournal.com]

OK. I think I covered everything :)

TRANSLATION:

Jensen and Jared are heading to Surfers (Surfers Paradise – Holiday spot on the Queensland Gold Coast) in their rented Holden Commodore (Australian car), hammering (driving/speeding) down the freeway at 100 clicks (100 kilometres an hour) and listening to Barnsey, Farnsey and Acca Dacca. (Australian singers / bands - Jimmy Barnes, John Farnham and AC/DC)

"Jensen," Jared yells over the blare of the radio. "We need to stop."

"Jared," Jensen sighs and turns off the radio. "We only just stopped. We're in the middle of whoop whoop (middle of nowhere) and I wanna make it to the caravan park in time to throw a few snags (sausages) on the barbie (barbeque)."

"You know, I love it when you talk dirty to me but it 'aint gonna work this time. I really need a slash (pee). Pull over," Jared whines and shifts uncomfortably in his seat.

Jensen rolls his eyes. "You dickhead. I told you you downin' (drinking) a slab (24 cans of beer) was a dodgy idea.

"But I really need to go. Now!"

"I saw a roadhouse back a bit. I'll just chuck a U-ey (U-turn) ...

"There's no time, Jensen. Pull. Over. Now." Jared pleads.

"Fine." Jensen says, as he slows the car and pulls off onto the stones at the side of the road.

Jared is fumbling with his thongs (flip flops), struggling to slip them on his feet, at the same time as he's reaching for the door handle. Jensen brings the car to a complete stop and Jared is out the door like a shot, almost falling A over T (ass over tit) in his haste.

"Mate!" Jensen hollers. "Careful. Falling over because your budgie smugglers (speedos or Y-front jocks) are wrapped around your ankles is not a valid excuse for flashing a brown eye (moon / show your bum) to the east coast of Australia! The locals aren't ready to see that side of your six-foot-four arse (ass)."

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Huh, I knew more than I thought I did. Also? Thanks.

So would one ever say, 'I gotta slash' or is it always a "need"?

[katysam.livejournal.com]

No, not 'I gotta slash'. They would say 'I gotta take a slash' or 'I'm dying for a slash' instead.

And it's very much a bloke thing :)

[mel-b-angel.livejournal.com]

Root. *sniggers*

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Heh

[agt-league.livejournal.com]

Hahahahahahaha!

I'm going to call this conversation my squishy and it shall be mine. :D

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Haha. :)