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[certainthings]

Pick up Lines

Are your legs tired? Oh, well, I'm not surprised; your thighs are almost comically muscular.

You must wash your pants with Windex, because something really smells like Windex.

Your father must have been a thief. I don't know, you just have the look of someone who was raised by criminals.

If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? That is to say, would you be offended by my comments, not would you physically hold your body against mine. Sorry for any confusion. Anyways, would you?

Do you have a little Italian in you? Really? Wait, what was your last name again? Oh, yeah, I guess that does sound Irish. Never mind.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I probably wouldn't. Can you imagine how much that would screw with everybody?

Are you from Tennessee? I hate people from Tennessee.

Excuse me; I seem to have misplaced my inmate number, which was assigned to me by this state's accursed penal system after it was discovered that I was indeed the "Fruit by the Foot Strangler." Can I borrow yours?

Can I borrow a quarter? I need to call my mother and tell her I've found the girl I'm going to annoy for the next 5-10 minutes.


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30 here

Comments

[burnfor.livejournal.com]

*snort* Loving the pick up lines!

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

The "Your father must have been a thief ..." one kills me the most, it's not even THAT funny and yet.

[burnfor.livejournal.com]

Heh yeah! I almost choked on my iced tea when I read that.

*has been deprived of fandom-minded people in RL for too long*

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

If you do or get your friends to you should let us know how it goes.

[freetodream5.livejournal.com]

omg you just totally made me LAUGH OUT LOUD in the middle of my empty classroom...so loud that the little police recruits just came to check on me...

those are priceless and ooo shiny icons...hi sleepy sam :D

[freetodream5.livejournal.com]

can i use some of those in a J2 fic i'm writing...they'd be perfect for this douche of a character i know :D

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

I didn't make them up or anything, so yeah, of course you can. I don't remember where I originally stole got them from.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

there's a few more pick up lines here (http://smidgy06.livejournal.com/1208655.html), if you're innerested.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Ahahah. Did you show them the pick up lines or even better use one on them?

[gretazreta.livejournal.com]

If someone ever used that alphabet one on me, I'd probably giggle and let them buy me a drink. Because that's kinda cute. *hates pickup lines, and is not in the market to get picked up either way, but still... that's funny. And TRUE. That would FUCK WITH EVERYONE!*

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

It really would.

[quidditchkiss.livejournal.com]

Can I borrow a quarter? I need to call my mother and tell her I've found the girl I'm going to annoy for the next 5-10 minutes.
LMAO! I love it.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

They're so good. Any girl (or guy) would be lucky to have one of those used on them.

[giantlovetingle.livejournal.com]

Heh. I don't know if those pick up lines are really all that funny or whether it's my lack of sleep, but they're all cracking me up so much. LMAO

Do you have a little Italian in you? Really? Wait, what was your last name again? Oh, yeah, I guess that does sound Irish. Never mind. I think I love this one the most.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

No, they are that funny. *nods*

[morgaine22.livejournal.com]

Your father must have been a thief. I don't know, you just have the look of someone who was raised by criminals.

I almost spit my coffee.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

That one is my favourite.

[annabeth.livejournal.com]

Fruit by the Foot Strangler.

*snickers*

*dies and is ded*

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

I do love them