Your parents did not want you

[certainthings]

Your parents did not want you. Think about it.
By that I mean they wanted a baby – one to raise in their loving care – with the expectation that you would grow up in such a way as to be compatible with them, their values, their religion, and their life style.
Be a genuine Jeeper, for example.
But it doesn’t usually work out that way.

And you did not want your parents, either. Think about that.
You didn’t know what you wanted in the way of parents until you began growing up and started becoming aware of who you are.
Which may not mean being a Jeeper.

What your parents imagined is rarely what you turned out to be.
What you want in parents is rarely what you think you would prefer.
With compromise and time and distance and some wisdom, the final match is at least workable, but not what you think you might have ordered if you had a menu to select from in the first place.
But. We get used to it.

-Robert Fulghum

The rest of the essay is here. And if you read it the word "Jeeper" will make sense.

Comments

[thelocation.livejournal.com]

My mother never wanted me, period.
I was an accident. A mistake she's never able to get over, because it's changed her life so drastically.
This has influenced my entire childhood, till this day even.
I feel unwanted. I know I'm unwanted. By her.
Thankfully I've found love in my life and my dad loves me to bits, so that helps, but there's still this big gaping hole that I need to fill.

Anyways, great post!

[framedhim.livejournal.com]

This, this makes me want to confess to pers. issues which aren't even problematic. I won't, no worries, but I will say that I've not read any of Mr. Fulghum's works before so this was a treat, of sorts. One that is rather mired down in what some could perceive as morose thinky thoughts with a touch of half-glass empty ideology (perhaps?) which would beg me to wonder of my enjoyment, but nope. I enjoyed whisking through his points all stemming from observing a family fighting during that particular week . Thank you for the link.

And for what very little it's worth, I do understand his "embrace the suck" statement.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

:smishes you tight:

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

I recommend reading any and everything by him. He's amazing. He makes me want to be a better person. It so far hasn't actually happened but the want is there.

I think I'm going to try and to start embracing the suck.

[fromyourashes.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you posted a link to that. My first instinct was to apply it to my relationship (or complete lack thereof) with the people who had sex and made me (whoopsie, lol), but then I realized it would probably be awesome to read to my kids.

We then discussed my utter and epic fail at parenting, so that was fun, LMFAO.

No, seriously, it was good stuff. I'm happy you introduced his blog/journal/thingie to your flist.

[thelocation.livejournal.com]

:)

[framedhim.livejournal.com]

:)

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

Really? I find that awesome that you and the kids did that. :)