certainthings: (Default)
Jensen: This is so stupid.
Jared: You mean this is so much fun.
Jensen: Dude, we're like thirty.
Jared: [laughs] No, I'm like thirty, you're like almost forty.
Jensen: Shut up.
Jared: The truth hurts sometimes.
Jensen: Hey, Jare? Why'd we have to jump the fence when the gate's open?
Jared: Because it's an adventure.
Jensen: You're very odd, have I told you that recently?
Jared: [smiles]
Jensen: I love you.
Jared: [kisses Jensen on the cheek before running ahead] C'mon, you're pushing me on the swing.
Jensen: Thomas is more mature than you are.
Jared: If you push me, I'll kiss you on the slide.
Jensen: Oh, you are so romantic.
Jared: [bats his eyelashes and makes an overdramatic kissy face]
Jensen: Tell you what. If I push you, and your big ass doesn't break the swing? I'll let you blow me behind the school.







+ Jared and Jensen go to an elementary school late at nigt to play on the playground and make-out a bit.
certainthings: (Default)
Jared: Hey, Jen? We need to talk.
Jensen: [concerned] Of course. Everything alright?
Jared: Yeah, it's fine. I'll meet you in your trailer in five?
Jensen: Okay.
[five minutes later]
Jensen: What's going on?
Jared: Erm, well. [grabs Jensen and kisses him]
Jensen: [pauses a moment before kissing Jared back]
[and after a moment of heated kissing and some groping]
Jensen: The hell, Jared? The fuck was that for?
Jared: [sighs. smiles sheepishly] It feels like forever since I've kissed you.
Jensen: We're married Jared.
Jared: I know. But sometimes I miss us.
certainthings: (gets me overwhelmed)
[Harry and Nick are sat on the couch not paying attention to a cooking show. Harry is curled against him, absently fiddling with a button Nick's shirt.]

Harry: Charles.
Nick: Hmm? What's that, love?
Harry: I think I'd name my boy Charles. Penelope for a girl.
Nick: Those names are boring.
Harry: They are not. They're classic.
Nick: And dull.
Harry: What would you call yours?
Nick: Definitely something butch for a boy. Like Truck.
Harry: [snorts] You would not.
Nick: Truck is a very strong name. Very masculine.
Harry: And if it were a girl?
Nick: I hadn't thought of it, maybe I'd name her after my mum.
[Harry presses a kiss to Nick's jaw]
Nick: What's all this about, anyway?
Harry: Just. Uhm. Just thinking about the future is all.

[Nick sits up a bit straighter and turns to look at Harry]

Nick: Are you breaking up with me?
Harry: What? No. Where'd that idea come from?
Nick: Harry. You're talking about children.
Harry: In the future. Future children.
Nick: I assume this means I'm not ...
Harry: Grimmy, I am not breaking up with you. Not today. Not ever.
Nick: When we first got together, you mentioned wanting children and I said that they were horrible things.
Harry: I thought you were joking.
Nick: Not really.
Harry: [quietly, mostly to himself] You don't want kids.
Nick: [takes Harry's hand in his and kisses his finger tips] I love you, young Harold. But no. I don't want kids.
Harry: I can't change your mind?
Nick: [shakes his head no]



+ i don't own.
+ for julia.
certainthings: (Emma Watson)


xxx

Jensen: I'm having a baby.
Jared: [pulls Jensen into a hug] Aww, dude. That's fantastic. I thought you'd just put on a little weight.
Jensen: [hits Jared on the shoulder] Shut it! You know what I mean.
Jared: [smiles wide] I'm happy for the both of you.

...

Jensen: What?
Jared: What what?
Jensen: You have that look.
Jared: [mock gasp] I have no such look.
Jensen: ...
Jared: I was just thinking that Thomas is going to have a mini-me.
Jensen: Wouldn't that work better if you had another?
Jared: Nope! Your kid will work in a pinch.
certainthings: (Zayn and Niall (a touch of pink))
title: that's really distracting
pairing: niall/zayn
word count: 100+
rating: pg
disclaimer: I don't own people
warning: very little punctuation
summary: niall is playing the guitar


He strums a few chords, hums a few lines from their new song.
You know, that's really distracting.
Zayn smiles. Acts innocent. What is?
Looking at me like that.
Like what exactly he asks as he climbs onto Niall's lap.
Like you want to devour me.
Maybe I do.
Don't think I'd taste all that good.
He leans forward and bites the tip of Niall's nose. Nope, you're wrong.
Niall laughs. You know, I still have to practice and I can't really play with you sitting there.

Don't care. Just wanna kiss you now.
I'm blaming you if I mess up when we're recording.
Zayn moves the guitar from between them. Niall?
Yes?
Shut up.
certainthings: (Sam and Dean : hand on thigh)
Sam and Dean have just killed a monster. They're about to leave, going to go find the nearest bar but The Girls insist that they stay for cheesecake.

Dorothy: What the hell was that?
Dean: A Glimick demon. They prey on uh, ...
Blanche: [smiles at Dean and leans in a bit] Yes?
Sam: Older woman.
Dean: I was going to say, women with experience.
Blanche: If it's experience you're looking for, honey. I've got it.
Sophia: She's got more notches on her belt than Wilt Chamberlain.
Dorothy: Mom!
Sophia: They're old enough to be your grandsons.
Rose: Back in St. Olaf, I dated a vampire once.
Sam: You dated a vampire?
Rose: Well, he never wanted to go out during the day and he really liked biting me.
Blanche: Oh, sweetie. I've had plenty of guys like that.
Rose: He also liked drinking blood.
Dorothy: What?!?!


#disclaimer #notmine
certainthings: (Jared is wearing sunglasses)
Sometimes I like to fantasize that a conversation like this has taken place -

Kripke: Hey, Sera ... Remember when I told you that you were going to be the show-runner and you said you had plans for the show to be like how it was in season one? Yeah, when you uh, said that I thought you meant the first season of my fucking show and not some jacked-up crack version of Highway to fucking Heaven!
Sera: Erm, well ...
Kripke: If we get a seventh season, fix this shit.
Sera: Yessir.
certainthings: (Sam and Dean - role-playing)
Title: [I don't have one]
Author: Well, that would be me.
Rating: PG.
Pairing: Hmm, well. Sam and Dean have a casual brothers with benefits kind of relationship but this is mostly Sam/OFC ... sorta.
Disclaimer: I don't even think that Helen Keller would believe that I was Kripke. Course, she's dead so she couldn't argue with me that I wasn't. Hmm.
Author's Notes: I don't write often and I don't write that well when I do. I'd like to use this space to give an honest and sappy heartfelt "thank you." to those few who read these silly little things.

the conversation )
certainthings: (Prep school boyfriends)
Moments in Fictitious Time. (This story is complete. It's partly narrated. Partly not. Imagination is needed.)

Jared is fourteen. Jensen is sixteen.
Bestfriends for years, maybe boyfriends for a few months.

[After Jensen had kissed Jared for the first time - panicking when Jared took a moment to kiss him back, Jared looked at  Jensen and in a mock southern belle voice had asked, 'Does this make us boyfriend and girlfriend, now?' Jensen smiled,  punched Jared in the shoulder and told him, 'Only, if you're the girl. Asshole.']

In a week, give or take a day or two, Jensen will be moving to another state, one that is far far away from where he is currently living with his mom, dad, brother and sister.

Oh, I should mention that at the moment they're in Texas - unless of course you have something against Texas then please relocate them to another state that you enjoy and/or are familiar with.

Right now, Jared and Jensen are outside in Jared's parents backyard. The sky is blue, the sun is hot. They're laying on their backs holding hands.

"You're never going to forget me, Jensen Ackles." Jared informs Jensen.

"That sounds kind of creepy ... Jared Padalecki."

Jared turns his head toward Jensen. "You won't, right? I mean we're ... This is ... Do you really have to move?"

Jensen props himself up on his elbows and leans over to kiss Jared on the forehead. "This is and we're totally ... yeah. But if... If not. We'll always be best friends."

"You'll write, right?"

"Boy Scouts, honour." Jensen salutes.

"You were never a Boy Scout."

"Yeah, but I wanted to be."

[Now, if you could imagine time passing, tearful goodbyes full of kisses and promises that would help move this along.]

The first week, Jensen and Jared exchange letters every day or sometimes every other day depending on how the post is.

On Saturday, Jared's letter ends with, "ps. We have phones, you know we could text."

Jared texts - Where's the romance in that? -

On Tuesday Jared comes home from his part-time job that he got for the summer, to a rather impressive boquet of flowers  with a note attached that reads, "This romantic enough for you, dick?"

If anyone had been around Jared would have denied his girlish giggle and happy sigh, but lucky for him the house was  empty. Still he eyed the dogs as he walked up the stairs to his room. "Not a word." He tells them. Being dogs they look at him with confused expressions, hoping for food.

- Dork -

- Got the flowers huh? -

- I always knew you were a giant romantic sap -

- And I always knew you were a giant girl -

- I love you -

Jared answers his phone before the first ring has finished. "You love me?"

"I've loved you for years, you're my best friend."

"Oh, I thought that ... Nevermind, what I thought."

"You're an idiot."

"Gosh, thanks."

"Jensen."

"Jared."

"I really do love you, you know."

"Yeah, I know."

[And here, if you could imagine a month or so passing by. More letters, more texts. A few phone calls. Jared at his job - maybe he mows lawns and walks dogs. And to be honest, I'm not really sure what Jensen is doing during this time.  Perhaps he's getting used to the new house, the new neighborhood. Maybe he meets Christian and makes a new friend.]

Nine a.m. on a Saturday morning a sleepy Jensen answers the door to a smirking Jared. Jared grabs a shocked Jensen and kisses him breathless. "This is way more romantic."

"What? How?" Jensen's brain is slowly catching up.

"Well, see Jensen, how romance works is ..."

"I meant, how are you here?" Jensen interrupts.

"I saved my money and mom helped a little. It's just for a couple of days. Uh, your parents will let me stay here, right?"
certainthings: (Harry)
I want Jared/Jensen non-AU mpreg fic. Obviously it would be slightly cracky. And perhaps slightly AU since it's mpreg.

I think it'd start off something like this -

[Show has ended. The Boys haven't seen each other for a couple of months but they talk often]

Jensen: Dude, it's three in the morning. You better have a good reason for calling.
Jared: We uh, we're having a baby.
Jensen: Congratulations but you couldn't have waited to tell me?
Jared: No, I really couldn't.
Jensen: Why do you sound so panicked? A lot of married couples have babies.
Jared: [almost hysterical] Because I'm fucking pregnant.
Jensen: Funny.
Jared: [dead serious] I'm not joking, Jensen.
Jensen: Jared. You're a dude, you can't get pregnant.
Jared: Tell that to the freakin' child growing inside me.
Jensen: You sure you're not pulling my leg?
Jared: My hand to Kim.
Jensen: Shit.
Jared: Yeah.
Jensen: How's Gen handling this?
Jared: She's freaking out more than I am and I'm pretty fucking freaked.
Jensen: I'm flying out tomorrow.
Jared: Gonna come see the freakshow?
Jensen: Gonna come and support the freakshow, freakshow.
Jared: Thanks, man.

I'm thinking Jared and Gen would split because having a pregnant husband was just too much for her. I'm not sure how or why Jensen and Danneel would but there's gotta be a half decent plausible reason out there.

All right? All right. Someone get on this. :p
certainthings: (Sam and Dean : Everyday normal life)
Title: It might mean everything.
Author: I wrote this pack of lies
Details: PG. And in my reality it's always about Sam and Dean.
Disclaimer: See above : mentioned lies, pack of.
Notes: I can't write descriptions and I love ellipses way to much.

Castiel: Dean, the world is ending and Sam's Lucifer we don't really have time to play games.
Dean: Dammit, Cas. Just shut up and put on the wig. Take off the trench coat as well.
Castiel: I don't understand why you're dressing me up to look like Sam, this isn't going to help him.
Dean: I can't ... I can't kiss you when you look like you.
Castiel: You can't kiss me at all!
Dean: I swear to God, Cas ...
Castiel: Swearing to God isn't going to do anything, Dean. You know that... )
certainthings: (Jared and Jensen : I want to kiss you)

Jensen: So, sometimes I'll be like this [pretends to sleep] when Jared wants to cuddle in the morning.
Jared: [laughing] Yeah, yeah. Then a few moments later there he is slingin' an arm around my waist and nuzzling my neck. That's when I'm like this [pretends to sleep with a huge grin on his face]
Jensen: [deadpan] He's such a good actor.


Jensen: Uh ...
Jared: D'oh!
Jensen: We uh, we don't actually sleep together ... I mean, the same house sure but ... [looks panicked at Jared]
Jared: [fake laughter] Yeah, we just thought that we'd tell you that because we thought ya'll would find it funny.
certainthings: (Jared and Jensen : I want to kiss you)
So there's that Jared and Jensen 'We ain't got no twitter, facebook, etc.' video out there. I watched it on mute. Well, sorta. I watched some of it on mute. And if you read this lj at all you know that I enjoy telling lies. Here we go ...

Clif: Guys, there are so many freaks out there pretending to be you.
Jensen: Huh?
Clif: Online. Twitter mostly.
Jared: And?
Clif: There are people who actually beleve that it's you guys.
Jensen: That's nice?
Clif: No, these fakes are like pedophiles.
Jared: What you're saying is that people think we're pedophiles?
Jensen: [looks at Jared] Well, you maybe.
Jared: Shut it, old man.
Clif: Boys!
Jared and Jensen: [meep]
Clif: You should post a video saying that you don't have twitter or facebook and such.
Jared: Yeah, let's not and say we did.
Clif: I'm sorry, what I meant to say was later today you're doing a video.
Jensen: And if we don't?
Clif: I'll link everyone to your myspace pages and tell everyone what really goes on at home.
Jared: You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
Clif: And there ain't a damn thing you can do about, I've got you boys by the balls.

THE END
certainthings: (otp: bowtie/braces [Harreh and Louieh])
(this said with love and tongue firmly planted in cheek)

Danneel: Honey your fans are being mean
Jensen: They've been batshit for over 10 yrs now cant do anything bout it
Danneel: Ugh but
Jensen: What?
Danneel: Send me a pic maybe they'll back off
Jensen: If they see a pic of me? Tell them to check the 'net
Danneel: They havent seen any new ones
Jensen: You know I'm working right?
Danneel: Please
Jensen: Fine
[a minute or so later]
Jensen: happy now?
Photobucket
Danneel: You couldnt have smiled?
Jensen: No
Danneel: You're an asshole
Jensen: You love me
Danneel: I really do
Jensen: Love ya too babe
certainthings: (Sam and Dean are holding hands)
[Supernatural. No spoilers.]

Sam: Dean, uh ….I wanna thank you.
Deam: For what?
Sam: For everything. You’ve always had my back, you know? Even when I couldn’t count on anyone, I could always count on you.


Dean: Well, that’s ‘cause you’re a freak.
Sam: Yeah, thanks.
Dean: Well, I’m a freak, too. I’m right there with ya, all the way.
Sam: Yeah, I know you are.


Dean: I want us to be together again.
Sam: ...I’d do anything for you. But things will never be the way they were before.
Dean: Could be.


Sam: No, I think you’re stuck with me. You and me. We’re all that’s left. So, if we’re gonna  see this through, we’re gonna do it together.

[snipped conversations out of order]

* * *

*Could Castiel have "gripped Dean tight and raised him from perdition" before Dean broke the first seal?
*Did Castiel know that Dean was down there? Was he aware of any plan?
*Did the other angels twiddle their thumbs and chant, 'C'mon, c'mon. Hurry up and break.' while they waited for Dean to break the first seal and then did they call Castiel over and say to him, 'Hey, there's this righteous guy down in Hell and he really shouldn't be there ... you know how paperwork is, would you mind going and getting him?" And Castiel so eager to please said, 'Golly. All right."  Then the angels all sniggered when he left, high-fived one another and said, 'This battle is going to be so epic.'

*What if Ruby had been an angel? A slightly naughty angel who was aware and in on The Plan but still. An angel.
*Would Dean still have disliked her as much? Or at all?
*Would Sam have trusted her like he did?

lies / fc

Sep. 5th, 2009 06:45 pm
certainthings: (and it'll be all right (Liam and Zayn))
[lies and fc]

Sam Winchester. Sam Walker.
A conversation in Tree Hill.


Not my characters.

* * *


She's had a fight with Brooke. Stormed off. Slammed the door and made her way to the diner.
He's had a fight with Dean. Stormed off. Slammed the door and made his way to the diner.

She sits down at the counter. Orders a coffee. Thinks about ordering a slice of pie.
He sits down next to her in the only empty chair. Orders a coffee. Adds a slice of pie to his order.

You're not from 'round here. She says.
Just passing through. He replies.

Sam. She says.
Sam. He says.

They smile.

What brings you to Tree Hill? She asks.
Road trip with Dean. He says.

She raises an eyebrow.
Brother. He lets her know.

Where is he?
Being a dick.

Brooke would probably give him a run for his money.
He raises an eyebrow.

Foster mom. She lets him know.

He slides half his pie over her way.
She smiles. Reaches for a plastic fork.

I had a brother once ... No, he was more like a boyfriend. He kissed me once. Twice.
I kissed my brother once. He says quietly.

She pauses before asking. Did he kiss you back?
Several times.

And he's like your brother brother?
Yeah.

Oh.
Yeah.

Guess kissing Jack wasn't so bad after all. She teases a little.
Not if you love them.
certainthings: (Default)
fc.

*Jared and Jensen talk about a guest star. Also kind of spoilery for the S4 Gag Reel and the S3 one. Sorta. Kinda. Little bit.

... )
certainthings: (Default)
[fc]

Jensen: Hey, Jared? We need to talk.
Jared: Are you pregnant?
Jensen: Yeah, and I don't know who the baby's daddy is.
Jared: Slut.
Jensen: Heh. Uhm, seriously though, I think I'm going to move out. Pretty sure, actually.
Jared: What? Did I do something wrong?
Jensen: [thinking: No, I did. I fell in love with you.] Course not, I just think it'd be for the best.
Jared: Can I do something to change your mind? Laundry for a month? Two? Buy you a puppy?
Jensen: [thinking: Kiss me. Tell me to stay forever.] Dude. I just know how jealous you are of how incredibly goodlooking I am, I don't want to be living with you when you get all bitter about it.
Jared: Ha. Ha. Asshole.
Jensen: I don't want you getting tired of me. I don't want to get tired of you. It's going to be another season together, maybe two. It's not like we won't see each other almost every day.
Jared: And we can talk on the phone again.
Jensen: You're such a girl.
Jared: Whatever, *Jenny*
Jensen: Call me that again and I'm moving out tonight.
Jared: Jenny. Jenny. Hey, Jenny? What's your phone number again? Oh, yeah. 867 - 5309.
Jensen: [thinking: Stop making me want to stay, this is hard enough as it is.] I'm going to my room to pack. Call me a cab in an hour, wouldya?
Jared: I'll find away to make you stay, Jensen.
Jensen: Good luck with that.
Jared: Chinese?
Jensen: ... is going to make me stay?
Jared: I thought we'd order it for dinner, duh.
Jensen: Your call.

fc | dw

May. 17th, 2009 01:08 am
certainthings: (Jared and Jensen <3)
[fictional conversation]

Jay?
Hmm?
[Jensen moves closer to Jared and rests his head on Jared's shoulder]
What was it like?
What was what like?
Being engaged ... to a *girl*
[Jared waits a moment before answering]
It felt safe.
[Jensen takes Jared's hand in his]
And now?
[Jared presses his lips to Jensen's temple and smiles]
Now? Now it feels right.

* * *

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