scorpion

Jan. 20th, 2015 09:04 pm
certainthings: (Harry)
toby: drew.
andrew: it's andrew, actually.
toby: oh, right. and drew is short for what michael?


hahahaha.
certainthings: (gets me overwhelmed)
Harry got a new (or the public has just noticed it) tattoo on his wrist. "I can't change" / background

From Yahoo Answers


Q:
What does Harry Styles' new "I Can't Change" tattoo on his wrist mean? I just saw a picture of Harry Styles' new tattoo on his wrist and I want to know what the meaning behind it is.

Answers:
Perhaps it refers to lyrics from Lynard Skynard's "Freebird."

he is not changing for anyone he is going to be him self

Well comsidering that it says I CAN'T CHANGE I think it means that he wants bacon

It's a reference to his favourite song 'Bittersweet Symphony'.

I think it's about his sexuality, I'm serious, he has given us SO MANY hints about it and I'm fangirling like an idiot...

That he is fully capable of changing.


The last answer kills me.


*typos belong to the original poster
certainthings: (Kreuk is laughing at you)
Awhile back a friend and I were in Wal Mart. There was this.



And it makes me laugh a lot. Probably more than it was meant to. Though, to be fair, I'm not sure if it was intended to be hilarious. But really, what kind of message is this toy sending? Yes, kids. If there is ever any danger, like a bomb, run toward it with your arms outstretched. When it hits you, it'll feel like a hug.
certainthings: (Aldis and Christian)
Mostly this is a reaction to a couple of lines from the ep.

Hardison's version of Elliot: I'm going to go sharpen this knife. Maybe walk around the halls. In the dark ... Don't leave.
Hardison: *thumbs up* Okay.

That was the funniest thing I've heard/seen on my television ...erm, computer in a good long while. I don't even know why but I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe.


Oh, and I loved everyone's version of Sophie's accent.
certainthings: (Default)
[for those that didn't see it on tumblr or anywhere else this may have been posted]

This is my new favourite thing. It does contain swearing so don't watch in front of the ninos.

How to trick people into thinking you're good looking


"If you were born really ugly like me have no fear ...."


That punching thing that she does? Yeah. I do that. There's usually a person there that I'm fake punching at but yeah. I really am ugly and weird.
certainthings: (Default)
Watched the rifftrax version of the movies today. I have quotes.

"Is she supposed to look sexy or like she's wearing a rabbit's dentures?"

Edward: Well, no one is going to believe you.
-"Quoting directly from the 'Abusive Guys Handbook' there.

"I heard 'Omgomall thirty years', you guys?'
"Yep. 'Omgomall thirty years.'"

"He's like the love child of Matthew Perry and Powder."

Bella: Vampire.
-"Close, I'm a metropire."

Edward: Are you afraid?
-"Seriously, I don't know what emotion you're going for, cos you always just look nauseous."

Edward: This is what I am.
- "An off brand version of Johnny Depp wearing body glitter."

Bella: I'm not afraid of you.
- "I briefly dated the Sham Wow guy, so you know ..."

"Mmmkay, good. We're just watching them them hang around all afternoon, moonin' at each other. Maybe later they'll drink goji berry pomegranate green tea and post some Serenity fanfic."

"This is a ballad I wrote just for you. [singing] I want to chomp into your throat and watch you bleed out on the floor. Then I'll bathe myself in your life essence as you die. Tear your heart out of your chest and crack the bones and suck the marrow out, slice into your brain for sandwiches and maybe have an omelette..."

Bella: How'd you get in here?
-"The chimney, I'm also part Santa Claus."

Edward: I like watching you sleep. It's...
-"Extra creepy."

Carlisle: Bella needs you.
-"To make her hammy acting look good by comparison."

"The sexual tension between these guys [Edward and Jacob] is off the charts."

* * *

Bella: I can't even think..
-"That's pretty obvious."

Jacob: It's completely stupid and reckless
-"Trusting the white man always is."

Jacob: Look Bella...
-"a body like this belongs at the Jersey Shore."

Jacob: ...or you're going to get hurt.
-"I'm putting land mines in the parking lot. Now, if you'll excuse me I'm going to scamper around half naked in the rain with my friends."

Bella: I'll tell them that you stopped by.
-"I'll ride over there on my unicorn."

"Great now they have to deal with the Nothing too."

Bella: I'd do it for you.
-"But only if you promise to never wear a shirt."

"Run blood-sucking Lola, run."

Jacob: Sam got angry, lost it for a split second and was standing too close
-"Three hours later he hit her."

"And theatres full of shrieking teenagers learn the hard way that somethings are better left to the imagination."

Alice: Just do what she says.
-"She's been acting since she was like two, she can buy and sell us all."

Jane: This may hurt just a little
-"I'm going to read aloud from the Twilight series."

Bella: I can't do this alone
-"Yeah, most people have difficulty turning into vampires on their own."

Sean Locke

Nov. 2nd, 2009 06:18 pm
certainthings: (Kreuk is laughing at you)
Sean Locke: [re: back hair] It's wrong, like having a third nipple or blood on your clown suit.



ahahahahahahaha. *ahem*
certainthings: (Kreuk is laughing at you)
Reading the spnpermanon comm and there was -

Anon 1: Ten bucks says you are a butthurt BNF.
Anon: 2 Ten bucks says you were an acne ridden goth in high school who hasn't gotten over it.
Anon: 3: Jason Manns called. He wants that ten bucks.

*cracks the fuck up* Seriously. Seriously seriously.

If the person who said the Jason Manns part is on my flist or is reading this - Well, done to you, sir. Very well done.
certainthings: (Jared's waitin for his john)
I just watched Death Bed: The Bed That Eats. Yes, it was as good and as awesome as it sounds.

And if you haven't heard Patton Oswalt talking about it ... what is wrong with you? I mean here listen to it now.
certainthings: (Default)
John Mayer: [singing] Look at me, I used to live in NYC, now I'm as douchiest as a man can be.

I do enjoy that man. I wish I liked his music more.

* * *

Photobucket

I like how no one really seems all that concerned that the guy in the background has just been STABBED! :p
certainthings: (Default)
Dara O'Briain: And comedians hate magicians. I know you may not know this but we cannot stand magicians because they practice and practice and practice and then they pretend that it's magic. That gets on my tits in a huge way. Right? 'Oh, no, where's the card gone? It's *magic*' No, you were lonely as a teenager and you practiced for hours. That's where the fucking card has gone, all right? Concert pianists also practice for hours but they don't go out on stage and go, 'Jesus! Where is the music coming from? This is incredible. It's like it's flowing out of my hands, it's amazing.'
certainthings: (Default)
[re: penguins swimming]

Johnny: But what's the point of developing that if no other birds can see that?
Stephen: Why would it want other birds to see it?
Johnny: Well, you're going 'It's magnificent.' It's swimming around going, 'Look at this. Look what I've done.' And the other birds are going, 'Look at that fucking idiot.'
Sean: We're the only creatures Johnny, who like to show off, I think. I don't think other animals like to show off, apart from peacocks and quite a few others come to think of it now ... In fact all of them.

* * *

Stephen: Why do women make the best fishermen?
Johnny: They're all descended from mermaids.
[snip]
Johnny: And in 1654 they negotiated a deal with the octopus witch to let them also have their voices back.

* * *

Johnny: I had a dream about flying. [describes dream] He's explaining how easy it is to fly to his family, 'All you gotta do is open your arms and do this and you fly.' And then I watch my family fall to their deaths.
Stephen: Have you tried to interpret that, can you imagine what it might mean?
Johnny: I'll uh, probably kill them. In a rage.
Stephen: I think it means you're gay.
Johnny: Does it? Really?
[Stephen goes back to talking about pigeons]
Johnny: FUCK THE PIGEONS, Stephen! Sorry. Am I gay?
Stephen: [cracks up]
certainthings: (Jensen's a goober face)
It turns out that Jensen is the super-sweet and sensitive type who treats his honey like the most special girl in the world-like a princess, in fact. "I'm just an old-fashioned guy," the 19-year-old confesses. "I like to be chivalrous. I like to open doors for a girl, give her my coat when it's cold outside, stuff like that." "Stuff like that" also includes putting a lot of care into creating thoughtful, meaningful gifts for his girlfriend. One Valentine's Day several years ago, Jensen shares, "Instead of giving my girlfriend a really expensive piece of jewelry or something like that, I cut out construction paper and used crayons and everything like that to make a card with hearts on it for her. It took a lot of time."


You know that when the trailer for My Bloody Valentine starts to air on television the girl from the quote above is going to be in her living room picking up one of her kid's toys and something about the ad will catch her attention and she'll stop and watch and see Jensen and see what the movie is called and she'll snort and mutter, 'My Bloody Valentine indeed. I hope he dies.' and one of her children will hear her and say, 'Why do you want the nice man to die, mommy?' And she'll say, 'Billy, fetch mommy a beer and then get your brothers and sisters and gather 'round while momma tells you a story from days gone by ...'

* * *

"It took a lot of time."  <--- THAT IS MY FAVOURITE.
certainthings: (Ruby is on her knees begging please)
Kristeen Von Hagen: I'm not into necrophilia but if I was I'd always pretend that it was our having sex that killed him. That would be my joke and I'd find it hilarious every time. Lie there after sex, 'Chad, that was amazing. Chad? Chad are you ... OH MY GOD! Our having sex killed you!' Then I'd laugh, 'Still got it.' Then be like, 'Do you want a sandwich? No? Good.' Then I'd put him back in his box or the fridge or ... I dunno, whatever you do with your dead boyfriend.

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